Day 19 - Me, Pooh and a little dog too

Want a perfect cure for what ails ya? Start with a big pink bike and attach one wicker basket, throw in a camera, Pooh and his uncarved block, add to the basket one little dog, blend in a perfect Florida day, then mix well with a bit of Van Morrison.  There you have it. I started my day way to early, felling way to bad and I now rest comfortably in my Teflon coated happy bubble. Life is good.

Today I'm grateful for:

calling out sick. Only the 2nd time in 2 years. Hey, I WAS sick at 6:30 this morning but since then I've taken two little pink pills and a nap. I managed to remote into work and get ALL of my e-filing done AND got a bike ride in. Now THAT's the way to use a sick day properly.

The perfect Florida day. OMD is it amazing! The sky is a brilliant blue and clear, the temp is 65°, only a hint of a breeze. I have the windows open, I'm barefoot and I'm in shorts. This is paradise.

my happy bubble. It's been a long time since I've rested so comfortably in my little happy bubble. Given the mood I was in when I left work yesterday I'm rather astonished to find myself here. *shrugs* Guess there is SOME redeeming value to being Bi-Polar. Hope I get to stay here awhile.

rides with the big pink bike. It's been far to long. This last cold snap was brutal but today made up for it. I threw my camera and "The Tao of Pooh" into the spiffy wicker basket Kelly bought for Roxie, harnessed up the little dog and out into the brilliant blue we rode. We rode 2 miles to the "good" pond. There we tapped into the flow with Pooh, took a few photos, splashed in some smelly water and enjoyed the day. Roy rode part way home in his basket sitting up and surveying his territory. I could almost hear him say "Dat's right, make way for Roy da Boy!" "Woof"

a good shooting day. It must have been the light. I got some amazing photos today. I didn't delete one. Even the few that are out of focus I can't bare to part with. Best shots I've taken since Day 1.

being happy. I hope for 2 things. 1) I get to stay this happy for awhile and 2) I don't get too preachy. Hey, at least I'm aware of my faults. When I am in my happy bubble, I get a little high and mighty. What can I say, I'm a work in progress. I'm still working on that whole "grace and humility" thing. For now, I just want to be happy I'm happy.

that feeling I get, after a long ride, as I round the corner off of Willow Green and onto my street. When I can just see Sally's red glow in the distance. My iPod is playing softly in my ear and I can feel the "click, click, click" of Roxie's gears. Having seen home something in me inhales deeply, like a breath of the soul. I don't know how else to describe it. I see home and though I've only been gone a short time, I am EXCITED to return. That feeling deep within me is what allowed me the freedom to leave in the first place. It's how I can face every morning with anticipation. I know, no matter what else the world throws at me, at the end of it, I get to return here to my slice of paradise. Yeah I know, it's a little preachy but what can I say. Blame it on the fumes in the happy bubble.

******

Wait, you need a little mood music while you look at the photos

It's freakin imposible to find Van Morrison doing this song,

but at least this is a GOOD cover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2kRHged6uY

******

Roxie in all her Glory

Roy getting deep with Pooh

Roy in his superhero stance

Another amazing day in Paradise

To see them all click here

Tuesday Gratitude

This morning a realization dawned. Ms. Shankabitch is back. She's been back for about 3 weeks now. She's been hiding behind a diet, a new puppy and holiday house cleaning. She's been laying in wait to strike at my family, friends and spirit. I caught her though and with the help of Ms. Happyfluffynicenice and her orc, I plan on getting her back in duct tape & Velcro in record time.

I caught her this morning when the alarm went off and I got a hamster tongue up my nose. As the hamster danced my precious 8 minutes of snooze alarm away. As I was laying in the dark, dodging bites on my nose and lips as the hamster expressed his desire to get up NOW I caught sight of her. She was laying there, holding the hamster up in the air screaming "NO I get 8 more minutes you little S#@$" I caught another glimpse of her when I was trying to scoot into the hamsters den without him getting out. "No. NO. NO! NO!!! Damn you NO!!" So, after realizing Ms. Shankabitch is loose, I decided I was going to lock her back up and become the calm assertive pack leader my little hamster needs me to be. Hey! No laughing! I CAN! REALLY!

So, it's time for me to step up and quit being a pansy. I'm going to get the hamster a cage. I'm going to stop viewing it as cruel and lazy, and start seeing it as a tool to make both the hamster and I happier. I want to be a good hamster mommy ALL the time and not just when things are going well. I would also like to avoid more hamster guilt trips and eliminate the possibility of me ending up on YouTube in my underpants in full melt down mode. *cringe*

Today I'm grateful for:

being the calm assertive pack leader. Oh shudd-up you! I am too!

hamster cages. With a few throw pillows, a blankie and his woobie and it will be a nice little den. See? No need for mommy guilt. Right??

Good Advice.

James Taylor's version of "Go Tell it on the Mountain" It's just what I needed to gain the upper hand on Ms. Shankabitch. It's Christmas Awesomeness in song form.

getting in a GOOD 20 minute work-out this morning.

eating a good breakfast. Orange slices & animal crackers. "Grrrr, ROAR!, Woof!" Oh, sorry, I'm back now.

PM quiet season. I'm getting so much work done! Next? The filing cabinet's going down! Wake up Cleo, it's time to scan! *booty dances with Cleo*

good owners. They are few are hard to find, but worth their weight in gold.

hamster kisses, Pixie squeezed and Man moves make life worth living. They keep me going when Ms. Shankabitch is running her muck and I am blessed beyond measure to have them in my life.

Paradise in 193 days. Either our little condo which is the best spot in all the world, or renting an RV and heading to Key West. *shrugs* Whatever, I go for the time with my man and the binken.

Well, that's it for me. The freaks are out in force and in a mood. Apparently Ms. Shankabitch has possessed them too.

Paradise 2009

Tuesday Gratitude

Today started out like a mixed bag of salad. Some bits you pick out and want to gobble up, other bits even the dog won’t eat. I don't anticipate it changing until sometime Thursday afternoon. Considering in the past I would be in full blown melt down by now, I'd say we are ahead of the game. Also take into consideration where I was and what I was doing 1 year ago today and I'd say I'm doing freaking amazing.

1 year ago today was a Monday. It was the day I got laid off and the day my Mom had her stroke. I remember going into work early because end of month was looming and I had not finished posting the stack of invoices on my desk. I had no sooner finished putting down my purse when Tripp walked into my office and said "Beth, I'm sorry but I have to let you go. My dad sold the company on Friday" at that I laughed and continued to take off my jacket and prepare for my days work. See, I used to regularly ask Tripp to fire me when I felt overwhelmed, and I felt overwhelmed a lot. On this occasion however, Tripp did not come back with "you're not that lucky" Instead he stood there looking at his shoes shuddering something about "this being out of my hands. I couldn't tell you. Dad needed to sell" and a bunch of other trite BS that I had failed to hear. You see, when I realized he was not kidding, all the blood in my body rushed to my head and all I could hear was the sound of my career coming to an end. It still amazes me how fast I packed up and headed home. In less than an hour I had the contents of my entire office, 3 years of work and 1 beta fish in my car headed home. My very first call was to my mom. I knew she was off that day due to company visiting. That's when my Auntie answered and informed me my mother had had a stroke and was currently in the ER being seen. Um, yeah, not a good day.

Today, in stark contrast, my mother is healthy and relatively happy and sane considering my father was laid off back in September. I am working at a job that appreciates me, stimulates me, and allows my inner superhero to come out and play. Given all of this, it makes the hamster poop on my bedroom carpet, a hamster biting my toes while I'm trying to ride the stationary beast, the 7th and final day of my detox and it being flat, grey and chilly out all not seem so bad. It even makes the fact that after working all day, I have to go home and clean the house, look rather rosy. I've said it before, perspective is everything.

Today I'm grateful for:

a year of growth, change, love, salvation and blessings. 1 year ago today started a chain of events that lead me back to church, lead me away from WoW, lead me to my inner superhero, and back to writing and photography. Today my life is 100X better than where it was 1 year ago. Considering I thought my life was pretty peachy at that time, tells you just how blessed my life is now.

my improved relationship with my mother: That day woke me up and made me face a possibility of a life without my mother. It put a magnifying glass to our relationship and lit a fire in me to work to improve it. It created in me the desire to tell my mother daily just how blessed I am to have her in her life. It spurred me to say what I needed to say.

the kittens. They held my hand, they held me up, they dried my tears and moved me forward. 1 year later and the DK is in my past but I'm blessed to say the kittens are not. I love you guys. Seriously.

Heth Realty, Inc. Seriously, I love my job. In the 11 moths I've been working here I have been rewarded beyond measure. I have been appreciated, bribed, promoted to IT director, Payroll coordinator and Maintenance Superhero. I'm told daily how trusted, valued and respected I am. I am backed, sided with, validated and praised. The pay may suck but the rewards are priceless.

Smoke Free and Healing for One Year, Two Months, Twenty Two Days, 22 Hours and 41 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 93 Days and 12 Hours, by avoiding the use of 26937 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $4,801.98.

200 days, 12 hours, 43 minutes till we return to paradise. June 13, 2010 we carve out 1 week from our busy lives to play newlyweds. It refreshes and repairs what daily living takes away. 1 week a year I find paradise waiting wherever my man is stands saying "I drin binkin Baby."

finding the humor. Even if it's after the fact. This morning, while I was on the stationary beast, the hamper was in the mood to play. Each time I peddled, he tried to bite my toes. Each time getting the timing not quite right and getting TWACKED in the chops and squeaking like a squeaky toy, shaking it off and going back again. Just so you know, I'm NOT a morning person and I HATE the stationary beast. I did not find the hamsters actions at all amusing. I tried saying "No" and "NO" and "NO!!!!!" and "Stop it you dirty bugger!" and "I'm gonna put you outside if you do that one more freaking time!" I must give the hamster his props. He has persistence. In the middle of my work-out I had to dismount. When I did this, something in my demeanor must have told him he was in trouble because he scampered away. The more I chased him, the more I got pissed off, the faster he scampered away. FINALLY I snatched him up and tossed his butt into the Florida room (his rather large kennel) and went back to working out. Now, a good 5+ hours later, I can laugh.

My man. He puts up with my morning persona with quiet reserve. He kisses me goodbye each morning and tells me he loves me and hopes I have a wonderful day. All while dodging hamsters, the swinging arms of the stationary beast, my sweaty face and my scowling. The fact that he kisses me goodbye, without fail, despite the perils, tells me he loves me more than his words. Oh, and he smells so freakin good in the morning I just wanna burry my face in his neck. It's just what the Dr. ordered to shift my mood to the left. Better than any little pill I assure you.

today being my Thursday. 4 day weekend here I come! I'm going to spend Friday on the computer plotting out our return to paradise. Apparently this year we are renting a Winnebago and driving to Key West. This ought to be very interesting. Good thing the 4 of us like each other as much as we do.

DWTS. Donny just killed his freestyle! *booty dances* Donny is just dreamy. All you punk kids and scoffers can just kiss my fluffy boohiney.

Me and the Man in Paradise 2009

Monday Gratitude

This weekend was a trial. It was a trial because I let some little things, that I should have been able to let go, fester. This far down the road, this is a skill I should have developed. Unfortunately, I am still a work in progress. I am not there yet. I lack the ability to process my frustration when the little things start to stack. I am MUCH better than I was. I don't break out the spork, drop the "F" bomb and scream till I cough anymore. At least, not at the first or even the third little frustration. It's when they stack one after another after another after another after another that my coping skills break down. At that point, your best and safest option is to approach me with extreme caution, perhaps with a doughnut in your out-reached hand. Anything less is suicide. If it's not of the utmost urgency, it's best to let it wait till my mood passes. To give myself some credit, I was at least aware. I prayed not for "the crap to stop" but for "me to grow and let it go". I kept up with my prayers and my list, though looking back at the last two days, I see they are lacking.

BUT, thanks to prayer, persistence, bacon, Aliens in the Attic and a loving sock monkey, I was finally able to let it go. I got to enjoy the last few hours of my weekend and mentally prepare myself for what lies ahead. This is going to be an exceedingly tough week. I water fast on Wednesday, I raw detox from Thursday till Wednesday of next week. This weekend is cleaning a house that has not been fully cleaned in a year. Work is going to be crazy. This is the week that all the freaks, who have been leaving minor repairs, want everything fixed TODAY before the holiday. Good news is I will get paid Friday, bad news is, this means I will have to fight the freaks at Wal-Mart for the last can of yams and pumpkin pie filling. Good thing I've been working out. I'm gonna need to be nimble to out maneuver the Tinkerbell pajama pant, florescent pink halter top, black croc wearing fluffy princess. Don't let her size fool you, she's quick. Especially when you stand between her and the prized food item she requires for her banana, yam, marshmallow surprise she plans to feed her spawn. *twitch* I'm ready, I can handle it! Oh, and sometime in this week I need to manage to get my half of the cookin done. Thank God, the BFF is doing the other half. Her cookin rocks and I know I can count on her. Oh, um, where was I? ...Oh, yeah, this is gonna be a tough week.

So, before things get crazy and out of hand, I'm going to remind myself that I am not the sporkmister I used to be. That I have the tools to handle my frustration in a positive manor. That I am loved well and that I can do anything if I give it to God. Um....can you do me a favor? Should I forget all this, could you smack me in the back of the head and say "Duh Beth!" Just remember to approach with caution, OH, and don't forget the doughnut.

Today I'm grateful for:

letting it go. Finally.

Prayer, Bacon and Sock Monkeys.

My puppy. It's out there and I will find it. Someday. Misty is just making sure I get the right one.

my dad. I still have him.

blenders and green smoothies. I'd better learn to love them or this is going to be a very long week.

self delusions. Ms. Happyfluffynicenice & Skinny Granny are both telling me this week is going to be a breeze and to quit stressin. Ms. Shankabitch is eerily quiet. She must be in a bacon stupor.

not freaking out when Shank told me I now weigh 194.2. Guess the weekend off of my diet is a bad idea. Nearly 2 pounds back in 2 days. My head didn't explode and I didn't break out the sledge hammer. For that, I'm grateful.

trust. I trust the sock monkey digs me. I'm just gonna have to be patient with that too.

my list. It changed my life and lifts my spirit.

today's Poohism: “Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.” I asked what I was looking for. I answered back: I am looking for the Pooh within me. I used to think I didn't have one. Now I know I have one, even if I can't always find it.

Funny, in the writing of today's list, Pooh came to hold my hand. Guess I'm not as scary as I thought.

My shadow in paradise.
In about a month, the countdown begins anew.