Day 112 - I WILL have a good day

“On a bad day, I have mood swings - but on a good day, I have the whole mood playground”
~Charles Rosenblum~

Today I'm grateful for:

the ability to make a good day. There is no tragedy in my life, no epic cause for suffering or pain. There is sadness and there is stress. Both I can choose to overcome and make a great day. Today WILL be a good day.

Kelly's freedom. I hope she puts it to good use and keeps it.

a great workout. Seriously, I got this.

no piles on Wilson. The hamster is on a roll!

BBQ sausages. Dinner tonight is going to be delish *drools*

plans for a day in the woods with Georgia and Brutus. Can you think of anything better than trolling the fall woods of Connecticut with your camera and Cousin Twin? I sure can't!

adoptive daughters. It's nice to have a slayer in the family. Oh, and I get two new spawnlings to spoil. That right there is awesomeness dude. I'm thinking it's about time for a Nana care package. *evil grin*

sock monkeys. They will make grandspawnlings happy.

choices. Lately I've been making good ones. Does this mean I'm finally growing up?

the fact that God gets me. As freaky as my mind works, this is epic but hey, he made me this way so I guess he has an edge.

my front walk. With bright smiling flowers and fresh Pixie art it's THE place to be. When the giant magnet draws me to where the wild things are, I pause here a moment and drop the baggage of the day. I'll pick it up tomorrow. It's not going anywhere.

Day 111 - Wacked out Wednesday

“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.”
~John Wyndham~

Today I'm grateful for:

being in a really good mood. There is NO earthly reason why I should be back in my happy bubble but I am. This is the up side of the bi-polar menopausal mood wave.

Kelly saying "I F.....g give up". Her saying that was like a salve for my guilt. It just evaporated. If she chooses to give up then that's on her. There is nothing I can do until she wants help. I will not be her enabler. She has her own journey to travel. I'll sit here by the side of the road and wait for the addict to let my daughter free. Until then, I'll sit here and love her from afar.

acceptance. I know when Kelly gets out, I may never see her again. She's angry with me and will be angrier. She holds a grudge like a pit-bull holds a bone and she is like the Elephant she loves so much; she never forgets. I said what I needed to say to her "I want my daughter back. I don't care if she hates me, at least she will be alive to do so" This time, I'm ready for radio silence.

Kent. Holy Mother of Pearl I never thought I'd hear myself be grateful for that guy but I am. He is bailing her out, he sees her "friends" for what they are, he WANTS her clean and sober and is willing to be responsible for her when she can't even be responsible for herself. He is risking 1/2 his life savings on a woman he knows does not love him. I pray he is a man of his word. If he's not, I'm afraid Kelly is lost.

keeping it all in perspective. Given the severity of events of the last 2 weeks I should not be in a good mood. I do admit it's inappropriate timing but I am, for whatever reason, happily sucking fumes within my happy bubble. Honestly, if I put it all in perspective, how bad is it? Kelly is safe and clean at least for now. She has made her choices and released me from oppressive guilt. Lisa's cancer was caught EXTREAMLY early and should be a matter of surgery and regular checkups. Thanks to her son, she is a LIVING example of the best possible outcome for the big C. My beloved Pastor is reaping his reward for a life lived in harmony with God's will. I miss him and I grieve for his lost presence but I refuse to grieve for him. HE is with his maker in heaven and I firmly believe he is on the golf course. So, I'm putting my burdens down at the feet of the Lord and climb into my happy bubble for as long as this mood last. Don't worry about me. I got this.

my husband. He is keeping me aloft and grounded. Unique skill-set that. Seems God custom made him just for me. I can dig it.

neck funk. Yeah, I know what you're thinking "What. The. Hell?" Just wait and let me explain. I am grateful for neck funk because: When spending your life drinking vodka, smoking 3 packs a day and living by the light of a computer monitor, you don't develop much funk. BUT when you are working out and pushing yourself to your physical limits, um, well, you get a little funky. When the man hugged me and jumped back and said "Phew! You stink!" I was like "Oh no you didn't!" but later I got a whiff of myself. Whooohooo! Beth be a funky superhero! *booty dances* Guess I can't wear the same tee-shirt all week anymore huh?

a killer work-out. I'm SURE that's what put me back in the happy bubble. 25 minutes, increased to 20 reps on the calastenics and I ran 4 level 5 sprints today. HA! I kicked my own butt!

silly jokes. This one was sent by my cousin Georgia. It made me snort coffee and added fumes to the happy bubble. Don't worry Ms. Amy! It's clean! Um, sort of...

Have You Ever Danced?

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.

The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.


The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and s aid, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

my bosses. Boss 1 and Boss 2 make me a very lucky superhero. This is Administrative Professionals Day. Yeah, news to me too but they picked me some beautiful flowers from their garden (they know what a flower freak I am) gave me a GREAT card that made me snort coffee, $25 cash and are ordering my all time favorite Papa John’s Veggie Pizza for lunch. Now THAT'S how you treat a superhero *nod nod*

Day 19 - Me, Pooh and a little dog too

Want a perfect cure for what ails ya? Start with a big pink bike and attach one wicker basket, throw in a camera, Pooh and his uncarved block, add to the basket one little dog, blend in a perfect Florida day, then mix well with a bit of Van Morrison.  There you have it. I started my day way to early, felling way to bad and I now rest comfortably in my Teflon coated happy bubble. Life is good.

Today I'm grateful for:

calling out sick. Only the 2nd time in 2 years. Hey, I WAS sick at 6:30 this morning but since then I've taken two little pink pills and a nap. I managed to remote into work and get ALL of my e-filing done AND got a bike ride in. Now THAT's the way to use a sick day properly.

The perfect Florida day. OMD is it amazing! The sky is a brilliant blue and clear, the temp is 65°, only a hint of a breeze. I have the windows open, I'm barefoot and I'm in shorts. This is paradise.

my happy bubble. It's been a long time since I've rested so comfortably in my little happy bubble. Given the mood I was in when I left work yesterday I'm rather astonished to find myself here. *shrugs* Guess there is SOME redeeming value to being Bi-Polar. Hope I get to stay here awhile.

rides with the big pink bike. It's been far to long. This last cold snap was brutal but today made up for it. I threw my camera and "The Tao of Pooh" into the spiffy wicker basket Kelly bought for Roxie, harnessed up the little dog and out into the brilliant blue we rode. We rode 2 miles to the "good" pond. There we tapped into the flow with Pooh, took a few photos, splashed in some smelly water and enjoyed the day. Roy rode part way home in his basket sitting up and surveying his territory. I could almost hear him say "Dat's right, make way for Roy da Boy!" "Woof"

a good shooting day. It must have been the light. I got some amazing photos today. I didn't delete one. Even the few that are out of focus I can't bare to part with. Best shots I've taken since Day 1.

being happy. I hope for 2 things. 1) I get to stay this happy for awhile and 2) I don't get too preachy. Hey, at least I'm aware of my faults. When I am in my happy bubble, I get a little high and mighty. What can I say, I'm a work in progress. I'm still working on that whole "grace and humility" thing. For now, I just want to be happy I'm happy.

that feeling I get, after a long ride, as I round the corner off of Willow Green and onto my street. When I can just see Sally's red glow in the distance. My iPod is playing softly in my ear and I can feel the "click, click, click" of Roxie's gears. Having seen home something in me inhales deeply, like a breath of the soul. I don't know how else to describe it. I see home and though I've only been gone a short time, I am EXCITED to return. That feeling deep within me is what allowed me the freedom to leave in the first place. It's how I can face every morning with anticipation. I know, no matter what else the world throws at me, at the end of it, I get to return here to my slice of paradise. Yeah I know, it's a little preachy but what can I say. Blame it on the fumes in the happy bubble.

******

Wait, you need a little mood music while you look at the photos

It's freakin imposible to find Van Morrison doing this song,

but at least this is a GOOD cover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2kRHged6uY

******

Roxie in all her Glory

Roy getting deep with Pooh

Roy in his superhero stance

Another amazing day in Paradise

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