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Monday, November 16, 2009

Monday Gratitude

This weekend was a trial. It was a trial because I let some little things, that I should have been able to let go, fester. This far down the road, this is a skill I should have developed. Unfortunately, I am still a work in progress. I am not there yet. I lack the ability to process my frustration when the little things start to stack. I am MUCH better than I was. I don't break out the spork, drop the "F" bomb and scream till I cough anymore. At least, not at the first or even the third little frustration. It's when they stack one after another after another after another after another that my coping skills break down. At that point, your best and safest option is to approach me with extreme caution, perhaps with a doughnut in your out-reached hand. Anything less is suicide. If it's not of the utmost urgency, it's best to let it wait till my mood passes. To give myself some credit, I was at least aware. I prayed not for "the crap to stop" but for "me to grow and let it go". I kept up with my prayers and my list, though looking back at the last two days, I see they are lacking.

BUT, thanks to prayer, persistence, bacon, Aliens in the Attic and a loving sock monkey, I was finally able to let it go. I got to enjoy the last few hours of my weekend and mentally prepare myself for what lies ahead. This is going to be an exceedingly tough week. I water fast on Wednesday, I raw detox from Thursday till Wednesday of next week. This weekend is cleaning a house that has not been fully cleaned in a year. Work is going to be crazy. This is the week that all the freaks, who have been leaving minor repairs, want everything fixed TODAY before the holiday. Good news is I will get paid Friday, bad news is, this means I will have to fight the freaks at Wal-Mart for the last can of yams and pumpkin pie filling. Good thing I've been working out. I'm gonna need to be nimble to out maneuver the Tinkerbell pajama pant, florescent pink halter top, black croc wearing fluffy princess. Don't let her size fool you, she's quick. Especially when you stand between her and the prized food item she requires for her banana, yam, marshmallow surprise she plans to feed her spawn. *twitch* I'm ready, I can handle it! Oh, and sometime in this week I need to manage to get my half of the cookin done. Thank God, the BFF is doing the other half. Her cookin rocks and I know I can count on her. Oh, um, where was I? ...Oh, yeah, this is gonna be a tough week.

So, before things get crazy and out of hand, I'm going to remind myself that I am not the sporkmister I used to be. That I have the tools to handle my frustration in a positive manor. That I am loved well and that I can do anything if I give it to God. Um....can you do me a favor? Should I forget all this, could you smack me in the back of the head and say "Duh Beth!" Just remember to approach with caution, OH, and don't forget the doughnut.

Today I'm grateful for:

letting it go. Finally.

Prayer, Bacon and Sock Monkeys.

My puppy. It's out there and I will find it. Someday. Misty is just making sure I get the right one.

my dad. I still have him.

blenders and green smoothies. I'd better learn to love them or this is going to be a very long week.

self delusions. Ms. Happyfluffynicenice & Skinny Granny are both telling me this week is going to be a breeze and to quit stressin. Ms. Shankabitch is eerily quiet. She must be in a bacon stupor.

not freaking out when Shank told me I now weigh 194.2. Guess the weekend off of my diet is a bad idea. Nearly 2 pounds back in 2 days. My head didn't explode and I didn't break out the sledge hammer. For that, I'm grateful.

trust. I trust the sock monkey digs me. I'm just gonna have to be patient with that too.

my list. It changed my life and lifts my spirit.

today's Poohism: “Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.” I asked what I was looking for. I answered back: I am looking for the Pooh within me. I used to think I didn't have one. Now I know I have one, even if I can't always find it.

Funny, in the writing of today's list, Pooh came to hold my hand. Guess I'm not as scary as I thought.


My shadow in paradise.
In about a month, the countdown begins anew.

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