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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Day 111 - Wacked out Wednesday

“When a day that you happen to know is Wednesday starts off sounding like Sunday, there is something seriously wrong somewhere.”
~John Wyndham~

Today I'm grateful for:

being in a really good mood. There is NO earthly reason why I should be back in my happy bubble but I am. This is the up side of the bi-polar menopausal mood wave.

Kelly saying "I F.....g give up". Her saying that was like a salve for my guilt. It just evaporated. If she chooses to give up then that's on her. There is nothing I can do until she wants help. I will not be her enabler. She has her own journey to travel. I'll sit here by the side of the road and wait for the addict to let my daughter free. Until then, I'll sit here and love her from afar.

acceptance. I know when Kelly gets out, I may never see her again. She's angry with me and will be angrier. She holds a grudge like a pit-bull holds a bone and she is like the Elephant she loves so much; she never forgets. I said what I needed to say to her "I want my daughter back. I don't care if she hates me, at least she will be alive to do so" This time, I'm ready for radio silence.

Kent. Holy Mother of Pearl I never thought I'd hear myself be grateful for that guy but I am. He is bailing her out, he sees her "friends" for what they are, he WANTS her clean and sober and is willing to be responsible for her when she can't even be responsible for herself. He is risking 1/2 his life savings on a woman he knows does not love him. I pray he is a man of his word. If he's not, I'm afraid Kelly is lost.

keeping it all in perspective. Given the severity of events of the last 2 weeks I should not be in a good mood. I do admit it's inappropriate timing but I am, for whatever reason, happily sucking fumes within my happy bubble. Honestly, if I put it all in perspective, how bad is it? Kelly is safe and clean at least for now. She has made her choices and released me from oppressive guilt. Lisa's cancer was caught EXTREAMLY early and should be a matter of surgery and regular checkups. Thanks to her son, she is a LIVING example of the best possible outcome for the big C. My beloved Pastor is reaping his reward for a life lived in harmony with God's will. I miss him and I grieve for his lost presence but I refuse to grieve for him. HE is with his maker in heaven and I firmly believe he is on the golf course. So, I'm putting my burdens down at the feet of the Lord and climb into my happy bubble for as long as this mood last. Don't worry about me. I got this.

my husband. He is keeping me aloft and grounded. Unique skill-set that. Seems God custom made him just for me. I can dig it.

neck funk. Yeah, I know what you're thinking "What. The. Hell?" Just wait and let me explain. I am grateful for neck funk because: When spending your life drinking vodka, smoking 3 packs a day and living by the light of a computer monitor, you don't develop much funk. BUT when you are working out and pushing yourself to your physical limits, um, well, you get a little funky. When the man hugged me and jumped back and said "Phew! You stink!" I was like "Oh no you didn't!" but later I got a whiff of myself. Whooohooo! Beth be a funky superhero! *booty dances* Guess I can't wear the same tee-shirt all week anymore huh?

a killer work-out. I'm SURE that's what put me back in the happy bubble. 25 minutes, increased to 20 reps on the calastenics and I ran 4 level 5 sprints today. HA! I kicked my own butt!

silly jokes. This one was sent by my cousin Georgia. It made me snort coffee and added fumes to the happy bubble. Don't worry Ms. Amy! It's clean! Um, sort of...

Have You Ever Danced?

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.

The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and s aid, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

my bosses. Boss 1 and Boss 2 make me a very lucky superhero. This is Administrative Professionals Day. Yeah, news to me too but they picked me some beautiful flowers from their garden (they know what a flower freak I am) gave me a GREAT card that made me snort coffee, $25 cash and are ordering my all time favorite Papa John’s Veggie Pizza for lunch. Now THAT'S how you treat a superhero *nod nod*


What more needs to be said? I'm kinda thinking I said it all in my list. For today I choose to remain in my happy bubble. My burdens will be right were I left them tomrrow. There will be a memorial and funeral to attend. A greiving widow to ach for. Friends in need of support and a job to do. If truth be told, my burden is a light one. A day of R&R sucking fumes in my happy bubble will refresh me and enable me to be of better service. So peace out Ya'll! Catch you on the flip side.

Now throw open the windows and dance barefoot to my hippie music!
Come on, you know you wanna.

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