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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Day 149 - Color Outside the Box

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
~Leo F. Buscaglia~


I've been trying for a long time now to break free. To remove the chains of fear and embarrassment, of anger and resentment and live. I've made progress but I'm still not where I want to be.

My goal is to grow backwards. To embrace the child within me. To nurture her and let her play. Long ago she was put in a box, her only toy a black crayon. For a long time I spent a lot of time and emotion trying to figure out how she got into the box, who put her into the box and why she remained in there. I started to heal the day I figured out that none of that mattered. What mattered is letting her out.

Well she's out now. She's still not able to dance like no one is looking but she has traded in her black crayon for a yellow sharpie. She giggles and laughs and cries at Disney movies and when she writes, she writes like she's booty dancing naked in the living room. She's free. She's taking her yellow sharpie and coloring the outside of that box that used to confine her. She is happy.

I am happy and I am free of the box. I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for the progress I've made and stand right here a moment. I want to see where I am, where I've been and where I'm going. From where I stand, it looks pretty damn good.

God has orchestrated this life. Dude, you rock. *kneels, makes odd rock n roll hand gesture and head bangs for Jesus*

Today I'm grateful for:

boxes. When you're not in one, they can be very pretty and very useful.

crayons. Now, I personally paint with words but have you seen crayons these days? Man, they have changed since I was a kid. Crayons are awesomeness in waxy form.

taking the time to take stock. When your on a lifetime journey, it's important to stand still occasionally. The view is breathtaking. I must admit though, the best view is what's up around the bend, just out of sight. From here it looks amazing.

this week in UpStreet. It's our last week before the close for the summer season. This weeks lesson is "Taking prayer outside the box" As you can imagine, this lesson is near and dear to my heart. I pray I can get creative and connect with the 4th grade. This is my last Sunday with them. Next fall they move to the 5th grade class. This is my last chance to help them take their faith out of the box and play with it. Oh man, this is gonna be fun. 

prayer. When you take it out of the box and play with it, amazing things can happen. When you leave it in the box it came in why are you surprised when nothing comes of it? God's just waiting for you to ask him to play. 

learning something from a child's lesson. Going over my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow got my brain going and in the process I learned something. Man I love it when that happens. 

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein
I can't embed this but please, do yourself a favor and just click it

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's Saturday. I'm going to put some feet on my faith and take my prayer out and play with it.

Later Yo ~

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