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Today I'm grateful for:
signs from the universe. I may not always like what they have to say, but it's always interesting hearing them, and in such creative ways too.
Valentines dinner plans with a prince in chocolate brown. I do indeed, again.
faith. I have it though I'm still lacking the ability to take the first step.
my little dog. He rocks and though he was rather scared, he conquered his fear and kept me company on the new treadmill. Which I named Herman but the way.
the new treadmill. I've got the flue, I feel like crap by my little dog needs a walk and so do I. Walking/riding is my non-chemical mood stabilizer. Herman is awesome and very unbeast like. Once I feel better, I'm gonna give this a go. We will see if my knee holds out. Since I started exercising regularly I have not had to ware my knee brace. That says something...
Poohisms: “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
my book. No one has bought a copy, Oprah has not called, it's chocked full of Corrigendum’s, but I can say, in earnest and with complete honesty "I wrote a book". That's enough for me. BUT one day, Oprah WILL call. Perhaps once I remove all the corrigendum’s...
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I'm home sick today and the first thing I do is shoot an email off to my boss informing her that I was going to stay home and wallow in self pity. The second thing I did was log into my Facebook so I could farm my crops and bank my Mafia loot before heading back to bed. I just happen to notice my dictionary.com word for the day. Normally it's lost in the news feed fodder but today it was front and center. Corrigendum. Corrigendum is defined as a printers error to be corrected or more specifically "An error in a printed work that is corrected after it has been printed by inclusion of a separate page of corrections, known as an errata page" Anyone who has downloaded a copy of my book knows why I took this as a message from the universe.
So, having successfully ignored the Universes message to use the day fixing the 1,230,492 typos in my book I instead hope to be healed of this sickness but sucking up to God. I work on my Bible Study in preparation for my Tuesday meeting tomorrow night. It's only taken me 2 weeks to do 4 days worth of study. Since I started this Bible Study I've had the distinct feeling that I was in THIS study for a distinct purpose though I still can't say for sure why, today's lesson was like a neon sign saying "Beth" in flashy neon yellow with an arrow pointing at this passage in my study:
"This young Jewish girl is obedient to her foster father and submissive to her Persian Caretaker. She wins favor not by threatening the structures of leadership, but by compliance, by listening to and pleasing those under who’s care she finds herself. However, the word "Won" is a subtle hint that Esther is more independent than she may appear to be."
There it is again! Not just submission, but submission with grace. She, being wise and independent, chose to listen and follow the instructions of others in the most important job interview of her life. By not just listening and following, but doing so humbly and with gratitude, this Jewish orphan became Queen of the Persian Empire.
So, yesterday I had the Aha! moment where I learned that Paul was speaking of respect and not obedience, today I learned that it's not just respect but indeed, wise and graceful obedience. It seems I've been struggling with the same issue for nearly a year now. God is not so subtly telling me I need to learn to submit with grace. Not just to my husband, but to him. OK Lord, I've found the door and I've found the key. How do I walk trough? How do I go against everything I know and feel? How to I take that first step not knowing if there is a floor or a cliff on the other side of that door? How do I willingly give up control of my own destiny?
The answer comes back from the other side of the door.....Faith
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