I woke in a foul mood. The man got up and I got pissed. It was too early but because HE got up that meant "I" had to walk the hamster. *mutters and sighs* His offer to walk the hamster just pissed me off more. It was one of those mornings where my feet hit the floor and the devil said "Oh shit, she's up". I threw on some clothes and walked the beast. Here, the little shit did it AGAIN! Oh, guess I should back up a bit.
The hamster is a Jack Russell mix. Any of you have any clue how hard it is to A) train a Jack B) tire a Jack? Freakin mission impossible dude. Really. But, I get this brilliant idea. If the little beasty is tired he will be easier to train and since I am physically incapable of walking long enough and fast enough to tire him out, we are going to walk him while I ride Roxie. Brilliant right? *bows* thankyouverymuch, I thought so too. ONLY, the hamster is to small for his harness. We use a harness to walk him because he is so damn small he can back right out of he collar, but guess what? He can walk right out of his harness. I forget this small fact when I set off to "tire him out".
OK, so, my frame of mind when we head out the door? "I have to walk this beast quick because the breads in the oven, I have Santa's cookies to bake with June, I have to finish the pie and feed the family all before church in *looks at watch* Crap! 2 hours. OK Roy, let's roll. ONE BLOCK from my house the evil hamster walks out of his harness and stands there looking at me while I screech to a stop. He looks at the empty leash in my hand and I see it in his eyes. I KNOW what's coming. Um, yeah, he takes off. I am left standing in the middle of the street holding a leash and screaming "Roy! Bad dog! Come here NOW! I'ma squish a hamster!" That last sentence being screeched just as two little girls come out of the neighbors house. They look a little frightened and move closer to their mother. Oh, and I should mention here the two teenagers who are on their skateboards on the sidewalk just standing there, watching my dog race away from me and head closer and closer to the street un-tethered. After a 10 minute pubic melt-down I say "screw you! I'm going home. Hope someone steals you!" and I grab Roxie and walk home. I walk in the house and just as I park Roxie in her spot, I see a white streak race though my front door and I hear water slurping. Enraged I slam the front door and I have ANOTHER melt-down completely forgetting that it is 80° and every window in my house is open. *sighs* I scream for the Pixie "Come catch this dog before I kill something. That something may be Santa so do it quick!" (yeah, not my proudest moment) The hamster whisperer reaches down and simply lifts the beast and gives me that "Was that so hard?" look. After much more aggravation, and redneck rigging his harness, the beast and I managed to have a successful run with the bike. Turns out the little beast and Roxie really get along. Roy LOVED the run w/ the bike and rewarded me for not giving up by signaling that he had to relive himself outside. GOOD BOY ROY!
Oh, yeah, back to this morning, well I walk him and make the mistake of rewarding a quick pile and puddle by letting him off the leash in the back yard. BIG mistake. Once again I'm left screeching "come here you freaking, freak of freaking freaks!" (only not exactly those words). Merry Christmas Roy...
From that point forward for a few hours it seems I just could not catch a break. MY gifts were great but 2 of the gifts for the man were screwed up *sighs* I over flowed the quiche and had a nasty puddle of egg, heavy cream and cheese dripping all over my counter-tops, the dog kept chewing toes, he ripped the bows off my SIL's stocking, and I miss timed how long it would take to get the quiche in the oven so I didn't have time for the long, luxurious bath I wanted. When I finally sank down into the hot water for a quick soak & shave before the In-Laws arrived I was in a real doozie of a funk. At that moment I realized I hadn't said my prayers and I had damn little time to do it so I figured "God's seen me naked so why not?" Funny how God works, when I closed my eyes to say my prayers the only prayer I could think to say was "Thank you" At that very moment a wave of gratitude washed over me so strong I began to cry. From that moment on, my day has been all I could have possibly asked for.
Though I am exceedingly grateful to my husband for the PERFECT gifts I received, it is NOT the gifts that I'm so grateful for. It's so much more...
Today I'm grateful for:
the thought and planning that went into my Christmas gifts. My husband plotted, planned, ordered, hid, and screamed beyond what he has ever done before. THAT was the best part of my Christmas.
my Christmas Stocking. Growing up the favorite part of my Christmas was always my stocking. My husband did not have a stocking tradition. On our first Christmas together I told him all about my love of the Stocking. In my stocking went all the little interesting things my mother would pick up over the year. Under the tree was the loot, in the stocking was the love. Nothing in my stocking was expensive but it was always creative and something that said "Beth Ann" to my mom. No matter where in the world we were for Christmas, no matter if it was just us 3 or a house full, my stocking was something I could count on. Each year those little items validated me. For 22 years my husband has tried, God love him, but this year he succeeded. It was without a doubt the BEST stocking of our married life. Thank you Babe.
my two favorite gifts. The first came from the Pixie. It was a HUGE 2 lb bag of Jelly Bellies. ALL yellow ones. 6 flavors, all yellow. If you read my list, you KNOW about me and the color yellow. This gift is incredibly creative, thoughtful and soooo freakin me. My kid is total brilliant awesomeness in strawberry blond form. The 2nd came from my mother in law. It was a pretty card with a hand written note inside. That note made me cry in the best possible way. I am an incredibly lucky woman.
another great ride with Roxie and Roy. More validation that this little beasty, no matter how crazy he makes me occasionally, belongs with this family. He LOVES Roxie. He runs along side her right where he belongs. He never gets in the way of her tires, he FOLLOWS, no leash snapping, no "NO!"ing, just tail and tongue wagging. I think Roy may love Roxie as much as I do. After all, if he ain't chewin on her peddles, he's humping her tires.
80° weather at Christmas. Today I was in my skort and we had the windows open. That is until I turned the oven on and it got so hot we had to turn the A/C on. Envy much?
Paula Dean's My Friend Flicker Pie. OH MY FREAKIN DOG IS THAT GOOD! I am a domestic goddess in my house thanks to this pie. Even though I forgot to add the 1/2 & 1/2 this pie rocked my house. Though it's so rich none of us could finish a full slice. Should you try it, I'd suggest thinking "sliver" not "slice"
Lilly. She is 16 G of hot pink awesomeness. She carries the new and enlarged soundtrack of my life. Steve is now in the custody of the man. I know he is in good hands. Lilly and I began our life together on Christmas eve. Here's the photo. Think I was a bit surprised? Um, yeah, the Pixie and the Man told me it was a sweater. Freakin awesome sweater dude!
the hamsters Christmas gift. I LOVE his funky chicken. This thing rocks dude! Oh, and when you squeak it, it sounds just like the hamster. Check it out!
a soft lesson. This year I got an Ipod, a tripod, an external flash, a cool base for my Nikon, photo editing software, cash, a gift card, a butt wad of dark chocolate, a bag of yellow Jelly Bellies, a framed bit of Pixie art and a love note but the very best of what I received today was the lesson that my mood does not define me. With God's help a shift to the left is just a prayer away.
I hope you all had a merry Christmas, I hope 2010 brings you new dreams, goal fulfillment and love in abundance.