Well today started out just peachy. I woke to hamster poop & pee on my bedroom carpet along with what can only be an entire box full of shredded tissue strewn from one end of my room to the other. Either the hamster was building a REALLY large nest or having a REALLY big party. Whatever dude, I was not happy and this before my feet even hit the floor.
This would be when I, in a fit of rage, snatched the dirty bugger up, storm outside, drop him rudely on the cold wet ground and scream "this is where you take a dump damn you!" At this, he bolts for the door and runs head first into the screen with a thump and a squeak. Only at this point did I realize I was standing in my back yard in my underpants, in the rain, in the dark, shouting at a hamster. I'd like to say these realizations snapped me out of it but that would be inaccurate. What I proceeded to do from here is chase the hamster away from the door. My big size 10 feet thumping after this 1.6 lb hamster. He scooted around the BBQ and beat me back to the door. This time remembering it was closed. There he sat on the dry concrete slab waiting to be let in, while I was standing out in the rain looking for him. I even lifted my foot to see if I had stepped on him. His panicked "Squeak!" for the man to let him in is what gave away his location. Again, I chase him off the slab screaming "If I'm out in the rain so are you! We are not going in till you pee!" This time he scooted UNDER the BBQ and ended up back on the slab and practically climbed up the screen in a desperate attempt to get away from the crazy lady. Me? Well you guessed it. I was back out in the rain looking for him. Only the sound of his nails on screen giving away his location this time. Around and around we went and it always ended the same. Him on the dry slab squeaking at the screen and me huffing and puffing in the rain.
Now, let me stop here and state the obvious. This is NOT the proper way to housetrain a hamster. In fact, my gut tells me I've set us BACKWARDS a great deal. Roy and I are going to have to work out our mornings. We seem to do great the rest of the day but our mornings are and "Epic Fail" poster waiting to be uploaded. Lucky for Roy the Pixie is off school today. She will sooth his frayed nerves and I'm sure, have much better luck getting him to go outside. She's turning into quite the little Dog Whisperer. Good thing to, I hear pet shrinks are expensive.
Hamster harassing aside, the rest of my week has gone surprisingly well. I completed my 7 day raw detox. That was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a very long time. The sense of accomplishment I feel for having made it all the way is equaled only to the fact that I quit smoking. For some reason, myself sabotage gene kicked in last night and kept screaming at me "Hey! Eat a cookie! You really don't have to go all the way to morning. It's just a rice cake for God sake!" I had the WORST cravings for that freaking rice cake! Oh, and every single bloody commercial last night was for FOOD! Pizza and McDonalds, and butter, and cookies, and ice cream and Taco Bell. OMG! I had to fall asleep during DWTS in order to stop the madness. BUT, come dawn, I had succeeded where I had always failed before. I completed what I started.
My 7 day raw detox started last Wednesday with a water fast. This day was actually the easiest of them all. I had nothing to think about and optimistic of what I'd lose. The struggles I faced were my own laziness, my lack of knowledge, the time consumed in trying to prepare 2 meals each night, a broken blender, the fact that I don't like "sour" which most fruits are, and the fact that the weather turned cold making me long for a nice hot meal. The worst of what I faced however was my own mind. Even after quitting smoking I still consider myself a quitter. I tend to get all excited about starting a project but defeat myself before the finish line. I would think "You're not going to do it anyway so just eat the chicken wing. You know you wanna." That "stinkin thinkin" combined with the smell of cooked foods just drove me insane.
BUT I stuck to it. I broke the quitter cycle and I lost a few pounds. The pounds lost were not the only benefit though. I am amazed at what I gained by this experience. First and foremost, I completed what I started. This combined with quitting smoking SHOULD convince me I'm not the quitter I make myself out to be. I lost a total of 6 lbs in 1 week. I weighed in last Tuesday at 192 even and weighed in this morning at 186. It does suck that the last 3 days in a row I have not lost an oz. but there you go. I'm going to assume that I've hit the dreaded "plateau" week and celebrate an 6 lb loss. There were also unexpected rewards such as a leveling of my estrogen levels. This was one of the FIRST benefits and one that amazed me. I've been in full blown menopause for a year now. I also suffer from IBS and the detox cleaned me out BIG TIME. Sorry, that may be TMI. Also I stopped shedding. My hair has been falling out in clumps for almost 2 years now due to a medical issue. Well, not now. The chronic dry scalp/dandruff I suffer from is not gone but greatly reduced. My hair shines like never before and the dry skin I suffer from, particularly this time of year has been greatly reduced. I still have raw patches on my left hand, but it's no longer cracked and bleeding. Oh and I'm strong! I've crushed all previous personal records on both the big pink bike and the stationary beast. My stamina is amazing! While I've been forced to reduce the allotted time due to hamster wrangling, I've been able to double the productivity. I do twice the distance in 1/3 the time on the bike and have reduced my stationary time to 15 minutes but now to 4 45 sec. intervals. Wow!
I would have to say that my detox experience was fulfilling, beneficial and an epic success. Even with my cheats and I would recommend it 100% to anyone wanting to jump start their diets or metabolism, or perhaps just want to clean out the system. You won't be sorry.
List of my cheats:
Coffee
Pruvia Sweetner - in my coffee only
Creamora - in my coffee only
salad spray
Balsamic Vineger
Altoids - a total of 2 on Sunday. I forgot I was on a diet in church :/
Lifewater - I had one Friday as a treat and one Tuesday
That's it. That's my cheats for 7 days of raw detoxing. We all know it's 7 cheats to many, but I'm choosing to look past my cheats to all I've gained. I freakin did it! I rock! Move over Skinny Granny! I'm hotter than you!
Today I'm grateful for:
another chance to do it right.
not stepping on a hamster
7 days of success. I didn't cave to the wafting chicken wing, the calling potatoe salad, the winking deviled egg or the tempting rice cake. I made it!
4 day weekends. Today is my Friday! *dances*
Friday, especially when it comes on a Wednesday!
a holiday to celebrate gratitude.
Turkey, stuffing, taters, ham, sweet potatoes, pies, pumpkin & zucchini bread, gravy, peas, green beans, rolls, family, friends, football, turkey sandwiches, left over’s, music and fun.
hamsters. Even when I'm chasing them in the pre-dawn rain in my underpants. 5+ hour later I am so laughing my butt off at the visual I have in my head. Hope Roy has found the humor. Do hamsters have a sense of humor? Mine better or life in the Reed house is just going to be one long walk on the wild side for him. Who knows? He may like it that way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ88oTITMoM
my man. He said nothing about my morning melt down and has agreed to vacuum and dust after work tonight. That right there is love. I don't care who you are...
did I mention a 4 day weekend?
Siesta Key FL Zoo & Jungle Exhibit
No comments:
Post a Comment