Day 5 of grey and I'm doing OK. Usually I can manage to maintain the yellow for a few grey days but then Ms. Shankabitch starts gnawing on her duct tape leash. Today however, I'm finding it comfortable. There is a slight chill in the air and I'm able to let my favorite black jacket swallow me and hide all the fluffy bits. I feel calm and kinda sleepy. Not the exhausted, unable to function kind of sleepy, but the rainy day, snuggled in the covers kinda sleepy. It's nice and it's comforting. Like a sustained hug from the Universe. I'll make comfort the theme of the day. It's a much nicer theme than the "It's freaking raining again and I'm not happy about it" theme.
Today I'm grateful for:
Rain. Without it life would be mighty scarce.
Shades of grey. Not just in the weather but in life. When I was young I thought so much was black and white. In my arrogance and ignorance I demanded strict adherence to my rules and ideals. Then came relationships, children, life lessons and the softened focus of age. I get it now. There are very few absolutes but I try not to dwell on them. I think it's a much softer and kinder way to live.
my mom calling me for a dose of sunshine. *ponders* I'm my mom's sunshine...that's awesome dude.
the sound of my mom's voice this morning. She sounded happy. Her voice had that tone, like liquid laughter, I remember as a kid. When mom said good morning to me in the kitchen with that voice, I knew it was going to be a good day. Those were the days we played hooky and went for Mexican. Those were the days I got my ears pierced. Those were the days we stuffed our mouth full of saltines and tried not to giggle. Those were the days I got to help her in the kitchen. Hearing it this morning warmed me more than my favorite black jacket.
the possibilities of puppy love.
day 4 and the new way is holding firm. Mini-goals are being completed, routines are being adhered to, attitudes remain adjusted and I'm walking like a big girl. Feels kinda...spiffy
Shank. I think I scared him, the poor little thing. This morning he just could not make up his mind how much I weighed. First time I weighed in he said I was 192.4. I got so excited I thought I may have read it wrong. After all, that would mean a full pound off since yesterday. So I tried again. This time he said 193.4. *sighs* This is the same weight as yesterday. Before reaching for the sledge hammer I decided to check again. 193.0 WTH? Dude, make up your mind please. I tried again 193.0 OK, I got 193.0 twice in a row. I'm sticking with that. At least that means a .4 oz weight loss. I also think I need to lay off the threats for bit.
My man. He loves me. Not only does he put up with all my crap but he does so with grace, humor and patience. God is the foundation of my life, gratitude are the doors and windows but my man is my home. The fact that he is just so freaking yummy, particularly in his chocolate brown golf shirt is merely a bonus.
Mustang Sally. This morning her pretty blue dash lights, her red crystal heart and her kick ass speakers were all the sunshine I needed on this dreary Thursday morning.
Steve, my little lime green bit of electronic awesomeness. Currently he is singing me "somewhere over the rainbow" Seems appropriate on this grey, comfort themed day. Bet he plays something like Pearl Jam's "Evenflow" next. He's good like that.
the stationary beast. I mounted, I kicked it's ass, I won.
coffee. On morning like this, coffee is life. Coffee is consciousness. Coffee is comfort. Not that fancy dancy crap either. Just a good cup of office brewed Maxwell house. 1 tsp non-dairy creamer, 1 pk Purevia, hot as hell. *sips* Ahhhhhh, Perfect.
That's all for today. Leave me to play with the freaks, wrapped in my favorite black jacket, humming "Oh happy day" along with Steve, while sipping coffee. Thursday is turning out to be my favorite day of the week.