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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Old Gratitude post: Consider this a "Key" to my brain. It may help you "get" some references. Then again, it may not

Originally posted: 7/22/09

Good Morning Ladies:

Happy hump day! Let’s leak sunshine and fart rainbows. Let’s Show this world what we’re made of shall we? *sighs* Yeah, I thought not but you can’t blame me for trying.

Today I interrupt your regularly scheduled gratitude list to ponder a moment:

I have an Ipod named Steve, a bike named Roxie, a car named Sally

I call my children The Queen, The Dorkfish & the Pixie. I also claim to have spawned them.

I’m convinced a dress has magic powers.

I call the stationary bike the stationary monster and I am convinced it’s a minion of the Evil Fluff demon Rex, who’s hell bent on stopping me in my attempts to rid myself & the world at large of the fluff.

I have started a movement to eliminate the label Fat and replace it with Fluffy.

I claim to have an orc in a tutu w/ a feather duster running around my head. He is Ms. Happyfluffynicenie's minion & blows the brain free of cobwebs & dust bunnies in his free time.

I claim to have a split personality. One named Ms. Happyfluffynicenice who is fighting for domination over my other personality Ms. Shankabitch who’s been known to stab tires and who’s favored weapon is a spork . Ms Happyfluffynicenice’s weapon of choice is duct tape & the brain orc is her minion.

I have an obsession with sporks because to harm someone with a spork takes planning and effort. Working up a sweat is quite satisfying.

I call myself a pacifist.

I am a Christian Taoist? Taoist Christian? Usually depends on the day.

I claim to be a superhero, have an imaginary purple cape & regularly flourish a yellow sharpie

I often claim to BE a yellow sharpie

All this tells me a) I earn my “weirdo & freak” labels daily b) I am profoundly grateful for not having been committed.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled gratitude list:

Today I’m also grateful for:

Holding hands. We do it right.

Evening adventures with Roxie. I just can’t explain how good it feels to be out in the hot Florida sun, peddling a big pink bike though my slice of paradise. On my 2.5 mile route I see a pink Caprice being tenderly rebuilt by a guy with longer hair than mine. I see him and I think “now THAT’S a hippie” I see children playing ball. They screech and grin and stop and wave at me when I pass. The little girls love Roxie :) I see ducks gliding across small ponds with surfaces like glass. Nothing moves the water cept the movement of the duck. In the water is reflected a perfect copy of tree and sky. I see smiling flowers of all shapes and sizes. I see hard working neighbors out tending to the homes and lawns they work so hard for. I see them shouting across the street greetings to neighbors, and now me. Seems my daily trip through their neighborhood has made me one of them. They wave and smile and I nod and smile back. The exchange leaving me feeling welcomed and somehow protected. Knowing that should something happen to me this far from home, these strangers who are not strangers would help the crazy lady on the pink bike. Roxie and I have an awesome adventure each evening. It’s a slice of my life I’ve missed and won’t give up without a fight.

My family. Every freak & weirdo that came before me. We are a dysfunctional lot. We are loud and messy. We fight and hurt each other at times but I know, if I’m in trouble, a convoy of pick-up trucks will come to my rescue. I’m one lucky woman.

My man. Given everything I am, he still when introducing me to ANYONE says “This is my wife, Beth.” And pulls me tight. He says it in that game show voice of his. Loud and strong with no sense of hesitation, trepidation or embarrassment. He says, without saying “she belongs to me” It’s kinda caveman like. I like it. The feminists can bite me.

Well, considering the novelette I wrote this morning, I think I’m done. My wish for you today is to be claimed. That should not be difficult for you two, but I’ll claim you if all else fails. After all, one spawned me and I spawned the other.

Love you,

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