integration. It used to scare me when I faced having to say goodbye to a personality. Now I just feel at peace and happy to know they are moving on to good homes.
my list. Because when I find the time to go back and read some old stuff I get all excited over the fact that I've managed to elude the net. Seriously, the funny farm needs to invest in some new ones. Cuz if they can't catch me standing here yelling "Hey! Over here!" then something is seriously wrong. (no honestly, it just does exactly what it's intended to do. Remind me that I've been down this road before and I know how to get home from here)
sharing the joy. Apparently my mother had a really bad weekend. Reading the list made her feel better. Knowing that increased the joy and it spilled over onto Kelly. See how that works? Now, go forth and infect others.
My new desktop photo for my work computer. NO ONE entering my office has failed to react to it.
the conversation I had with Kelly. I spoke to her about how, when I'm surrounded by awful, I tend to narrow my focus to the small. I look for something beautiful in the chaos. She did. She found this:
unclenching. This is HUGE dude, it's EPIC! And I can still only manage it for moments. But those moments are getting longer, by the tick of the second hand and they are more frequent. Eventually I'll be able to string them together like the pearls of a necklace and have something truly valuable. Since I started this journey I've been holding on to this new life with a full body clench. It was cutting off the flow and I was struggling against my own grip. Recently the Lord has been telling me to loosen up and let him grow it into....what? Well, that's the thing about faith right? My faith tells me that I will bloom but I have to step out on that faith and say "Toadstool or Orchid? Hemp or Hydrangea? You're call Lord" I'm not there yet, so I'll just say "I'm working on it Lord. One tick at a time."