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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Day 126 - 13 Years

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”
~Abraham Lincoln~

13 years ago today about this time of day I was in labor. I'd been in labor some 3 hours having been once again induced. This was to be my first non-military birth. In a civilian hospital with a civilian doctor with my first epidural. There with me was my husband and my BFF and I was having a BLAST!

I had finally come to except that yes, at 35 friggin years of age, I was once again, giving birth to yet another girl. It's a good thing making a baby takes 9 months because it took all of that 9 months for me to be happy about it. By the time I checked into Laurel Regional Hospital at 6 AM on Tuesday May 6th, 1997 I was not just happy I was over the moon. I knew this was going to be my last baby and I was determined to enjoy every single second of it. Oh, and BTW? Epidurals freakin rock dude! Where had these things been all my life?????

Exactly 12 hours later at 6PM, June Elizabeth Reed entered this world. She was pink and perfect and with hair so fine and pale I thought she has no eye lashes or eye brows. It took hours to for them to let me hold her but once I got her in my arms I didn't put her down again for 8 months. Not until her pediatrician said "Mrs. Reed, she is not behind, she can't learn to roll over because you never put her down." I went a solid 6 months of sleeping with her on the couch because her crib was so big and cold. Only when my husband said "I miss my wife" did I return to our bed.

This child has been nothing but a joy and a light since the day of her birth. She is my eternal garden pixie, my hippie in training, my troll slayer, my fart giggler, my joy, my muse, my supermodel, my wild thing, my life giver, my hurt kisser, my rock star drummer, my artist, my I love you racer, my teacher, and my beloved daughter. I can't believe I've been blessed to have this wild and untamed heart sharing my slice of paradise for the last 13 years.

I love you June. Happy Birthday.


Today I'm grateful for:

God not listening. 13 years 8 months ago, hidden in the ladies room at work, I took a pregnancy test. When it turned pink I collapsed on the floor and cried. I didn't have a relationship with God but I figured "What the hell, I'm desperate" and I begged God to make the pink lines a mistake. I spent 2 hours on that bathroom floor crying, praying, begging and cursing. I'm so glad he tuned me out.

God tuning me out all 3 times. Um yeah, have you met my daughters? Damn-it, Oops and Booboo. Uuh, I'm not really good at planning. Good thing God is.

the last 28 years. I have been a mom for nearly 28 years. Holy S...

Lisa's being a Momma's girl and her attention. Of the 3, she is the only Momma's girl. We learned a lot from each other. She still checks my spelling for me.

Kelly's resilience and core strength. She keeps tripping herself up, falling down, and being knocked down but she never fails to get back up again and always with style and humor.

June's invisible strength and wide open heart. My garden Pixie loves unconditionally and fiercely. DO NOT mess with those humans she calls her own. She may look fair and sweet but she fights like a troll. Just ask her cousin. At twice her size, she made him cry like a little girl.

June's open doors. Thus far she has not closed one door. Her life is wide open.

being my mom's baby. What must it feel like to be her? I pray I never broke her heart.

rude awakenings. This morning before dawn, the man and I flipped on June's light and sang a loud and obnoxious rendition of "Happy Birthday". The kicker was when I dropped the hamster on her chest. When she dug through the colorful little bag containing a shiny black iPod 16G Nano apparently named Phillip. We were all forgiven and were rewarded for our bad behavior with joyous squeals and kisses. When I left for work this morning she was plotting how to spend $65 worth of iTunes credits and friending on very own Facebook account. I think we done good. Now I just need to survive the Slumber Party this weekend *twitch*

not being happy that I couldn't work out this morning. I had other things more important to do. Like sing to a Pixie and introduce Phillip to Lilly, but I was not happy about it. Me...not happy about getting out of a workout? Oh Snap...

a good, solid triple workout yesterday. I even managed to squeeze in a 30 minute bike ride between the rain and AI. Radical dude.

the song "Butterfly Kisses". It came out right around the time she was born. The man and I had never heard it. I remember the day he heard it. It was the day after June was born. He had gone home the night before so I could rest and because Kelly had a softball game. The next day he came in to take us home and he had been crying. He said "You HAVE to hear this song!" and told me all about it. Wouldn't you know it, in the van on the way home from the hospital with our newest wild thing, this song played. I cried that sweet kind of cry. The cry where the tears just roll down your cheeks unrestrained and unnoticed.

A short time later, at Lisa's 16th birthday bash, the DJ played this song and Lisa and I danced. Again, the tears fell as I held my eldest wild thing. It was the last time Lisa and I danced together. Every time I hear this song I'm transported back to a time where my babies were still babies and still mine. Now one is a mother and having flashbacks of her own and the other is a strong and independent bud of a woman. She is still my baby and she is still mine, but I am dangerously close to the time the world will take her away from me. I pray with the time comes, I'm ready. I know she will be.

1 comment:

  1. Darn you, Beth. You made me cry. Love it.
    June is a beautiful girl and it sounds like she's beautiful on the inside, too.