Today I'm grateful.
I am grateful she is safe.
I am grateful she is clean and sober. At least for now.
I am grateful we stuck it out and made it for 23 years.
I am grateful he fought for me. Even when I was to weak to fight for him.
I am grateful he loves me with a depth I've never seen before.
I am grateful for short prayers. "Forgive me Lord for I suck. But I love you and I'm trying." My father used to say grace when I was a kid "Lord, teach us the efficacy of short prayers" Um, Dad, I got this.
I am grateful to feel like I can't live without him. I know I can in my head but my heart says something all together different.
I am grateful for showing the Pixie what a date night should be. I told her not to settle for less.
I am grateful for movies that make me cry and warm my heart. I am 46 years old and I'm still in love with Disney. Stop being a grown-up for 1.5 hours and go see "How to Tame your Dragon". It is awesomeness in 3D form.
I am grateful for a night so good it washes away the bad of the last 4 days.
I am grateful that he is so sappy and sentimental he asked for a photo album of our lives together. 3 years ago when I made it I was not into photography and was suspicious of why he asked for it. Now, each anniversary I add 2 pages. One is a collage of "the year in photographs" and the second an 8x10 of the photo that represents THE moment of the year. It's become a tradition I love almost as much as the man himself.
Everyone in and around my life has had not just a bad week, but one of the worst weeks EVER. My pastor had open heart surgery a week ago last Wednesday and has been fighting for his life since. One of my daughters is in jail, the other has cervical cancer. My mother is dealing with an unemployed husband and my father is dealing with a wife that constantly lives on the edge of a knife. My husband has dealt with the 2 daughter issues as well as a wife who is wacked out. My boss is under investigation by the Unemployment office, my office mate has "serious" anomalies on her mammogram. My husband cell phone dies, my bike tire goes flat and I smash my rear bumper of my pristine Mustang into a concrete wall. THIS is the very TIP of what we have faced. We are all to the point where we have panic attacks every time the phone rings.
God is good and great in his mercy. My pastor improves daily. Daughter one's cancer was caught miraculously early due to the premature birth of my grandson. Daughter two has detoxed and is safe, if thoroughly pissed off in jail. My boss is innocent of what he is accused of and we are rallying behind him. The officemate is a woman of faith and strength. She faces this head on. My husband will fix my bike tire tomorrow and the hamster and I will be "On the Road again" in no time. His cell has been upgraded to a FREE blackberry and as for the bumper of my car? Well, it sucks but I will use it as a reminder to SLOW DOWN and not to sweat the small stuff.
Tonight we celebrated my 23rd Wedding Anniversary. The fact that we made it this far is a testament to our will, our love, my husbands patience and my sense of humor. If I had to do it all over again, every single day of it, to get to what we've had for the last 3 years, I would do it all again. The single greatest gift in my life is the man who holds my hand.