Today I'm grateful:
that I have a grateful heart. I used to just say it, now I own it.
that my self worth is growing, that my self discovery is continuing, that my strength is increasing.
being in group one. I used to be in group two. The reality of my move has not quite sunk in, but when it does it's going to be...wait for it....LEGON-DARY.
for Pastor Ken. It seems the man that lead me back to Christ is still with us and improving. "Thy will be done Lord and thank you" My heart overflows with joy for Ms. Becky, his family and our church. He WILL marry a Garden Pixie to her Prince Charming someday. He WILL get my husband out on the golf course and kick his butt and he WILL keep me playing nice with all the Christians. Praise the Lord.
for no piles on Wilson.
for being alone in the office ALL day. Boss 1, Boss 2 and the Office Mate are all in class. Now to find where I put the phone number for "Strippers and Kegs R Us".
for a solid 30 minute workout and the endorphin trip to the happy bubble. Best drug there is and FREE. Pssst, it's OK to be addicted to this drug. It's good for you.
for accomplishing a goal.
for some high quality couch time with that man of mine. It's so awesome we are both rooting for the same two AI's. That NEVER happens. Go Chrystal! Go Big Mike!
that I got this. I know, I know my dear 16 stalkers, you must be tired of hearing me say "I got this" but I'm afraid it's going to be around awhile. It is so much better than my old mantra and I am becoming so strong, that I just can't help myself. Dude, I so got this.
JOGGING! Holy Crap dude, I jogged this morning! *crosses "learn to jog" off goals list* I got on the treadmill and did 20 minutes of: 3 high speed walk, 2 minutes of low speed jog plus 5 minute warm up and cool down AND my morning calisthenics. Guess what? I SURVIVED! *booty dances* I was so high on endorphins I floated all the way to work. I didn't even get pissed off at the big red truck in front of me that wanted to do 30 MPH all the way through Riverside. That's epic right there!
that I noticed a change. I have steadfastly refused to speak to my scale so I have no idea if I've lost or gained anything, BUT I did notice yesterday that my favorite denim skort was fitting significantly looser and the cargo pants I bought a month back? You remember the ones, the man said "in a month or two they won’t fit" and we all went AWWWWE! Yeah, those are looser as well. There is even some wiggle room in my belt this morning. So, yeah, I'm back sucking fumes in my happy bubble.
for killing the Lizard brain. Dude it was so awesome, I heard it go "POP!" and then...silence in my head. Total freakin awesomeness dude.
Having accomplished that, I said to myself "Self, let's head to Publix. I can turn around any time I get to tired. Roy looks like he could use some more running" (Publix is 2.5 miles one way) so we headed toward Publix. Wind still gusting in my face, hamster still wanting to sniff not run, and TONS of drag still pushing me backwards. I downshifted from 3rd to 2nd and grunted forward. The wind blew harder and I downshifted from 2nd to 1st and heard the lizard brain again "my legs hurt, the hamster is tired, this wind is STILL in our face even though we've changed direction 3 times and it's STILL in my face. THIS IS NOT COOICIDENCE! THIS IS GOD SCREWING WITH ME!" Here, I did something I never do, I kept going. I refused to get in a debate with the lizard brain, I just ignored it and peddled harder and faster and I made it all the way to Publix turned around and headed home. When I turned around, and the wind once again changed direction and was blowing not exactly dead in my face, I thought the lizard brain was going to have a conniption fit. I finally managed to shut it up with a heroic effort to ignore it and look at the amazingly beautiful sky.
When I walked in the door the man said "Where did you go? You've been gone nearly an hour and a half" Um, what, wait....ME? Ride for 1.5 hours? Really? Holy Crap. "did it rain?" "Yeah, it rained but it's only water." In this moment I heard something in my head. What it was would not register till this morning, but it was the sound of the lizard brain deflating. What was once this overpowering beast just shrunk with a pathetic squeeeeeek like the sound of a kid deflating a balloon.
After realizing that I had ridden an hour and a half, in the rain, and the wind, I got this bright idea. "If I can do THAT, I should be able to manage to run" After discussing my idea with the man and getting his advice I decided that this morning I would start by jogging for 5 minutes. That was my goal. Just jog 5 minutes at speed 3.7 or 3.8. So, I mounted the treadmill and got another bright idea. It's much easier to just go to 4 because it's much easier just to push the 4 button than to push the speed-up button 7-8 times.
Right hear the lizard brain started in again, but I noticed it was much softer and weaker than ever before. I just ignored it and did my normal 5 minute warm-up. "You'll never do it! Are you crazy! You're just going to hurt yourself. Dave will come home and find you in a broken heap and with your luck the hamster will fling poo on you." "You have no chance to make it a minute much less 5"
After my 5 minute work-out I did my catatonics, then back on the treadmill. I came up with a plan to do intervals. 3 minutes fast walk (my normal) minus the incline, 2 minutes slow jog (speed 4) and repeat for 15 minutes. "R U CRAZY?? You so ain't got this! ONCE for 5 was crazy talk, but "3" for 2??" I walk my normal speed and watch as the timer counts down 2:50 and I count down 10,9,8,7,6,5-1 and hit the 4 speed and nearly lose my footing. *THUMP, THUMP, CLOD, THUMP* on the treadmill so loud the hamster drops his sock and barks at me *gasp* "Shut up you! Relax!" *gasp & wheeze* I check the timer, it says .30. More thumping, more wheezing, more gasping, and yes, more barking and I'm counting down from 1:50. 9,8,7,-1 and I hit the walk button. "Oh. My. Dog! I did it! And the first minute was even kinda easy" "LIAR" Again I counted down, again I hit the 4 button and jogged my full two minutes and hit the walk button and wheezed "I got this" "not as much as you think Princess, your boobs are sweating, your knee sounds like a Pinto's 3rd gear and you can't slow your breathing enough to take a chug of water".
All right, last time then the 5 minute cool down. You got this, just keep breathing 2:50 9,8,7,6-1 and I do it! I did exactly what I set out to do. I accomplished my goal. It's just a starting point. I mean let's face it, speed 4 is not all that fast BUT it's a jog and in the joy of my accomplishment, I heard it. A loud "POP" as the lizard brain exploded. Ummmmm, I think I killed it. *pokes it a bit* Yeah, I'm pretty sure I killed it. Guess I'll find out tonight when I'm face to face with June's bag of Jelly Beans.
This chick Rocks my Socks off