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Friday, March 5, 2010

Day 64 - Introducing Wilson

Hey, you want to hear something funny? My dentist's name is James Spalding.
~Chuck Noland to Wilson the Volleyball in "Castaway"~


Today I'm grateful for:
a really great morning.

Wilson the treadmill. He ran my butt off this morning and left me begging for more. For HIM I may just be willing to give up those 8 blissful minutes of extra sack time.

Roy and Wilson's new friendship. It kept me from screaming for help from the Lord and kept Roy from hiding under the bed. I plan on encouraging this friendship at every given opportunity.

walking my way to Smokin Granny status. The man says "just do what I do" I'll submit like a good wifey should and put my faith in him. With luck I'll reach Smokin Granny status by June.

the scale said I lost .4 lbs. though I'm still not talking to it.

a new Unv. of Michigan shirt. Purchased for me by my BFF cuz my old one was looking haggard. It came in yesterday and I put it on this morning w/ my denim skort, thick black tights and Birkenstocks. Damn, I almost look cute.

feeling cute.

pondering the possibility of taking an on-line college course. Why not? I'm not too old....right? RIGHT??

help. I got it this morning without ever having to ask. God rocks dude.

being a God freak. I like that label much better than I used to. It no longer makes me itch.

some alone time with my favorite human. GOT to love slumber parties when you’re NOT the host.

hearing God getting louder. I'm afraid my running days are coming quickly to an end. I'm trying to see this as a positive. Um, yeah, I'm TRYING to avoid doing what I know he wants me to do. It's not going so well. You just CAN'T outrun God. *sighs*

So, I know my ever faithful 5 stalkers want to know "Why Wilson?" Well I'll tell ya. Remember that movie with Tom Hanks "Castaway"? Tom's BFF on the island was Wilson the vollyball. Having him to talk to kept him sane and grounded. My hope is that this treadmill will be my Wilson. It will keep me from caving to the negativity again. Wilson will never be my BFF & confidant, but he will be my key non-chemical mood stabilizer. I think I'll take a pass on the chemical ones and put my faith in my feet and Wilson. At least for now.
Oh and Wilson ran Roy for about 15 minutes last night. I had to stand next to Roy the whole time and his ears were back but he didn't once try and jump off. After he was done I praised him like a concerning hero and gave him a "TREAT!" That made Wilson Roy's new BFF. This Morning I put Roy back on Wilson using his harness and short leash. I did nothing more than drape the leash over the side bar (can't attach it to the main bar cuz of technical difficulties) and hit the start button. Roy took off jogging with his tail and ears in the upright and locked position. I backed away slowly toward the kitchen saying "Good Boy Roy!" *Roy wags his tail, looks my way, and slides slightly backwards on the treadmill* I walk into the kitchen, just out of his line of sight but I can still hear the sound of his little paws hitting the treadmill with gusto. "Good Boy Roy!" I say as I make my morning cup of coffee. I walk back over to him and he glances my way saying "Hey, I'm workin out here, you mind?" as he slides slightly backwards on the treadmill and scampers to catch up.

"Good boy Roy!" I say as I walk into my bedroom leaving the door open so I can hear his paws on the treadmill. I gather up my clothes, put them into the bathroom, start the shower and brush my teeth, all while hearing the rhythmic "pat pat pat" of his paws. I go out and check on him and give him one last "Good Boy Roy!" before getting into the shower.  Again he wags his tail, gives me that "Be off with ya woman!" look and slides backwards on the treadmill having to scamper to catch up.

Before you get all huffy, remember a) I have him in his harness intentionally so he cannot be choked in an accident b) the leash is only draped over the side arm. He can jump off at any time c) I am listening constantly for any sound of trouble d) should the leash drop it would simply roll off the back of the treadmill and Roy could walk away.

OK, so where was I, oh yeah, I'm in the shower and I yell from the shower "Good Boy Roy!" and visualize him sliding backwards slightly and shooting an annoyed glance in my general direction. After what has to be the shortest shower on record, drying off, throwing on me undies and rushing out to the living room I find Roy right where I left him. Ears up, tail up & wagging at the sight of me, and him sliding slightly backwards having to scamper to catch up. "Good Boy Roy!" I say as I lower the speed slightly. I've learned from personal experience that when you are going full out on the treadmill and you just hop off, you stagger around for a few moments like a drunkard. I'd like to have ONE guilt free day, so I decide to bring him off slowly.

After a complete cool down I remove his leash and harness and yell "Treat!" Before I can say Hamjack he is barking at the kitchen cabinet that houses his treats. He follows me into the bedroom with his treat and as I finish my morning routine, he is peacefully chewing. NO new bald spots in my pretty lavender rug, no snagged tights while I'm on my knees saying my morning prayers, no nipping at my heals, hamster ninja tongues, no fodder returned from the hamster wormhole under my bed. Just the peaceful sound of hamster chewing.

I have found a new drug. One that calms Roy as well as me. Wilson rocks dude.

I'm sorry, this was just funny as hell.

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