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Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 50 - Manhood

The men whose manhood you have broken will loathe you, and will always be brooding and scheming to strike a fresh blow.
~James Larkin ~

Today I'm grateful for:

silly jokes. This one made me snort coffee. It's from an email my office mate forwarded me called "How the fight started"

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...

Roy having no idea what was about to happen when I left him. He was doing his happy dance as the nurse led him away. Yeah, that just doubled my guilt.

my man when he said "I will not help any man get his balls chopped off" if you check your man to English dictionary that means "Poor Boy Roy!"

my man to English dictionary. It reminds me men are as caring and nurturing as any woman. If you know how to translate. It's taken me more than 20 years to develop this dictionary and I'm still lacking some key phrases. Like "Honey! The Game!" does that mean "Get out of the way!" or "I'd like you to watch the game with me but only if you can sit still and be quiet?" If you have a translation for this one or any others, please let me know. One day I hope to compile it all into book form and make it mandatory reading material for all Brides to be. I'd offer free copies of the dictionary in Bridal Shops and Bakeries and such. Perhaps, if we "experienced" wives get together, we can send the divorce rate going in the other direction. I did find this and it's AWESOME but I'd like to do something a tad more in depth.

BFF #1 in for the weekend! *booty dances* There's gonna be laughing, and talking, and shopping, and eating and my husband’s head is going to hurt by bedtime. Poor man. He and Roy can comfort each other.

my Pixie doing an AMAZING job cleaning her room for her Godmother. I walked in there to inspect and thought I had walked into a parallel universe. Wow....just....Wow!

Kelly w/ JEA (our local utility company and the company my husband works for). Up until about a month ago, I hated JEA with a passion I usually save for snakes and lawyers but one day, the Universe gave me a cosmic atta-girl and sent my call to Kelly. That first day, she talked me out of breaking several laws and took the time to actually FIX my problem. Oh, and when she said "This is a JEA error and I will fix it" I swear I heard angels singing. Since then, I have taken all of my utility needs (and there are many when you're a maintenance superhero) directly to Kelly. I have her email don't'cha know. Kelly is a utility superhero and I think I'll give her a blue cape and her very own sharpie to flourish. Well, perhaps I'll just bake her some of my banana bread. Anyway, she rocks. Oh, and there was lineman that came to my office on an emergency call. He rocks too.

PAYDAY!! Nuff said

the vet's comment this morning "How's our HamJack Mrs. Reed?" HA! I've infected him! *does an odd sorta victory dance"

faith that Roy will love me. Even though I had his manhood removed. He pees like a girl anyway...

Roy the Boy taking that long walk.
I'm sorry Roy! Poor Boy!
(seems only fitting it's blury and out of focus)


Today is the day my poor little dog has his manhood removed. Handing him over to the vet tech. I felt so guilty! He was actually HAPPY to see her. She always gives him extra love and treats. I think he has a bit of a crush on her. After today I don't think he is ever going to look at her the same way and he most certainly WONT be doing his happy dance at the vets ever again. I KNOW it's the resonsible thing to do as a pet owner. "Spay and neuter your pets" is a PSA I hear all the time. OH and the one with Sarah Mclaughlin singing and all those sad faced dogs? Yeah, I get weepy every time. But as the Momma of a dancing hamster, I feel guilt. *sighs* This too shall pass. As soon as he chews my bathroom rug or humps my leather shoe again, life will return to normal, though I'm sure my husband will never look Roy in the eye again.

Ok, this is freakin hilarious!
But um, kick the kids out of the room before you hit play
Or you'll be answering questions you really don't want to

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