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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 33 - The Bible Says...

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam."  George Carlin

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About 5 years ago I got my first personal cell phone. It was way cool and could do all this fancy stuff like send and receive texts. At the time I was an MSN junkie and nearly peed with joy when I discovered I could have my daily horoscope sent via text to my cell. 5 years and 3,492 different phones later I still get those emails because I have NO idea how to stop them. Most days they are not even worth the effort it takes to delete them. Some days they are mildly interesting. Law of averages tells you that at least evey once in a while, you get one that seems eerily prophetic and worthy of a repeat on Facebook. The last 3 days however, are something more and I'm sensing a theme. Day 1: Put more spirituality in your creativity Day 2: Invite someone to join you on your spiritual journey Day 3: Working on your personal issues is painful but liberating and rewarding. Who knew God could text?

I'm a new God Freak. Just over a year ago I was what Christians label a "Pagan". I was so clueless I didn't even know I was a pagan. Wish I knew, would have been kinda cool. I STILL struggle with my prejudices against "Christians". I thoroughly dislike most some of God's people. They say and do things I believe are completely at odds with the teachings of "Christ". I am so uncomfortable with being a Christian that when I first began to pray I used to hide the fact. Like an alcoholic drinking in a closet, I would go to my room, shut the door and pretend I was changing my clothes. So paranoid was I that my husband would "discover" my secret that I spent the bulk of my prayers opening one eye and checking the door. Then it happened, my husband walked in, saw me on my knees at the side of the bed and stared at me. He asked "are you praying?" I did that move, oh come on, you know the one; and lied "Um, no, no I just dropped something"

Now when you lie...to your husband...about praying...you know you have issues. I can't remember if it took me hours or days to finally go to him and tell him the truth. I still struggle with this. I am so opposed to nearly everything a Christian Conservative stands for that I struggle constantly. For the observant reader, you will have noticed I don't even call myself a Christian but a God Freak. This is not just some random Bethism but calculated.

I do not believe in coincidence. The Taoist in me believes in Karma and the collective energy of the Universe. Now that I'm a God Freak, I have not changed my original belief, but added a layer. I believe God speaks to us though seemingly random events. Events most would label "Coincidence". So, 3 texts, in a row, all connected (though my background knowledge. You out there in the interweb won't get it) made me sit up and take note. So, this is me, trying to put more spirituality in my creativity, inviting you to join me, while I work though my issue with publicly showing the depth and level of my commitment to God. Hang in there with me while I work though the balance between in your face and in the closet.

Today I'm grateful for:

God Texts. The visual I have of God thumbing out a text makes me giggle. Bet that was part of his plan.
 
balance. I can do this. I can occasionally blog about God without becoming one of "those" people I make fun of. I can find balance, I can reply to the text, I can laugh at myself.

shifting further to the left. I'm not yet back to center, but I'm still moving in the right direction. Even with lack of sleep and first of the month. I am indeed a Property Management Superhero *swirls the purple cape and flourishes the yellow sharpie*

the Facebook PM from my mom. My Mom's a Facebooker. That's freakin cool. Now if I could just get her to quit using that creepy default man shaped avatar...

Chili night w/ Kelly. I can't believe it. I've turned into one of those pathetic mothers that gets all excited when her grown daughters come to visit. Farkle! When did that happen? I'm way to cool for that kinda crap.

Pixie art. Her latest drawing could so be my tattoo (yes, I still want one) My kid has mad skills but if she becomes a tattoo artist, my husband will kick my fluff ass, but she won’t. She WILL be an awesome female drummer w/ an alternative rock band. Or the first female president of The United States who plays drums on the weekend for an alternative rock band. Either is OK.



my Bible. As a noob God freak this book is a giant enigma. There are passages in there that make my heart sing like: Psalms 9:18 - But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish. Then there are passages that just piss me off like: Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives, submit to your husband’s as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Submit hell. My husband is not my master he is my partner. *sighs* It's a good thing I'm in Bible Study because leaving me to my own devices with this book is a serious mistake. For now, I'm learning all about Esther. God Freak or not, you should seriously check out her story. This chick rocks dude.
 
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