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Monday, February 1, 2010

Day 32 - Space; the fabulous frontier

Yes, I have.

******

I'm a dyslexic, bi-polar, menopausal, OCD sufferer. I'm an organizational freak. The bathrooms can be so dirty the homeless guy who lives under the bridge refuses to use them and the dust bunnies are picketing for better living conditions BUT everything is orderly, everything is in it's place. I throw things away and ask questions later. My children have stopped asking "do you have my 2nd grade report card?" because they know I don't. If it's not worth packing, hauling, then unpacking, it's not worth keeping.

I am married to a packrat. This has caused much contention in our 23 years of marriage. In fact, our very first, and to date, 3rd worst fight EVER was over me throwing away a parts catalog (which I didn't buy the way) So, you can imagine how having a house full of excess baggage just drives me nuts. My office is the perfect example. It was JAM PACKED with furniture, camera equipment, an alien hamster transporter, bits of glass the kids have bought me, my books, a TV that no longer works but I can't seem to get out of my office *gives the man the stink eye*. Here is what it looked like 4 days ago:



I know right?? As you can guess, this did little for my stress level. Now, I have to say, I am extremely sad that my brothers relationship has come to an end. 11 years is a long time and I am truly sad for all concerned. BUT, he needed furniture for his new place. Um, yeah, Bro, I have some stuff for you. On Friday he came to my house with a truck and hauled away a ton of stuff. I now have SPACE, GLORIOUS SPACE! I can wallow in space, I can move my office chair without banging my knee on a transporter. I don't have to climb over a stationary bike to get to my camera case or books. My office is stress free if not dust free. I just cannot begin to tell you how this has improved my outlook. I have not change my mind, I am going to get on some sort of mood stabilizer, but I can at least breathe. Breathing is awesome.

Today I'm grateful for:

having felt that way. I think I'm going to buy some glitter this weekend. I sense a photo shoot coming. Pink glitter I think.

space the fabulous frontier. Wallowing in space is just what the psyche ordered. I do wish my psyche would stop speaking Latin.

walking in the dark. Out in the dark, protected by my suburbia, I get to see new shadows, new trees and new shades of grey.

returning home and seeing a piece of s**t Camera in my driveway. It means Kelly's here!

feeling better without losing resolve. I'm going to do what's right. Even though I feel a shift to the left coming.

getting through the day. I had virtually no sleep, it was the first of the month, the freaks were out in force, one snarling freak nearly did me in, but I maintained and even strain and was rewarded by the universe with a balanced deposit. I'm glad today is over but I'm grateful I survived. No freaks were harmed in the making of this list.

how music can move me.

faith that I'm not full of ..... I really can choose to be happy. I just may have to think outside the box to do so.

God's voice. He tells me he loves me in ways I never would have imagined. He led me here for a reason, I just have to be patient till I discover what it is.

 ******
It is not fabulous?
I'm thinking of painting the walls Cerulean
OK, maybe just one wall
 

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh space. It feels so good. I can almost feel the weight lifted off your shoulders via intraweb. Excellent post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your site is awesome and amazing so this has puffed me up a lot. Is this what the proverbial "15 minutes of fame" feels like?
    Oh, um, I forgot to say thank you so, thank you very much.

    ReplyDelete