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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tuesday Gratitude

OK, so the hamster the Pixie pulled out of the Alien hamster transporter last night was defective. It leaked. BIG TIME! I swear to you the Pixie walked him and he made a puddle and a pile. I got home and walked him and he "marked" at least 12 blades of grass and no sooner did I bring him in than he booby trapped the wood floor directly in front of my bedroom door. The man found it with his sock. Not 5 MINUTES LATER I'm feeding him dinner and the Pixie reports another puddle found on my dining room carpet. I feed him, walk him, he makes ANOTHER 12 puddles, I bring him in and he pees on my foyer floor while looking at me as if to say "What?" *mutters, sighs, whines* All told, from the time I got home to the time I shoved him back in the transporter he added 5 puddles and one pile to the landscape of my home flooring. I will say that at least this leaking alien hamster eats. Little bugger ate his weight in kibble last night. Guess my worries over his lack of appetite were unfounded. Good news about the leaking hamster, this one slept through the night and I didn't hear a Yip out of him.

What Mystery Date did we pull from the Alien Hamster Transporter this morning? *insert drum roll* The Good Boy Alien Freak Hamster. Seriously. I walked him this morning and he produced a several puddles and a pile in less than 5 minutes, sat at the door and waited for me to remove his leash, played like a good boy while I rode the stationary monster and was an all around good boy for the 2nd morning in a row. This morning he followed me into the bathroom when I went to take a shower. Normally he sits on the edge of the garden tub and tries to drink the water and not fall in. This morning however, he didn't. I showered not thinking anything of the missing voyeur until I pulled back the shower curtain. That's when I saw him. Taking his two front paws, shoving my underpants under him and humping away. My first reaction was to snatch them away and yell "Quit it you freak!". As I hurriedly dried my feet as to not end up a sliding heap on my bathroom floor a memory came back to me. The one where the BFF told me of her puppy Calvin eating a pair of her underpants WHOLE. Seriously, whole. No nibbles or chews but whole. Then yakking them up in a phlegm encrusted pile on her bedroom floor. At this memory all I could do was laugh. I reached down and rescued my underpants from further molestation and put them in the hamper. The hamster following me with a bark as if to say "Hey, I was playing with that!" At least the Alien Hamster Freak started my morning off with a good laugh. I needed it too after finding out I still weigh 192.2 for like a full week now. *sighs*

Today I'm grateful for:

Alien Hamster Freaks. They are always good for a laugh and at least don't leak.

my life. Last night my friend Natalie and I were talking about how good life is right now and 2nd chances. Seriously, I would not trade my life for any Supermodel, Actor or Rock Star. God has designed my life just for me. Once I got out of his way and started living the life I was intended to live, it blossomed. Screw the rock stars, they don't have a hot prince charming in chocolate brown, a Garden Pixie or an alien hamster. They got nothin on me. *makes an odd rock and roll hand gesture*

My little book. It seems destined to be ignored by Oprah but that's OK. My Kittens, my Mom, loved family members and random strangers are getting inspired and uplifted by it. That's enough for me. I think it's time to retire the query letter. Yes, I admit, I am giving up very easy but I'm content the way it turned out. It was never about getting famous or rich, it was always about the fulfillment of a promise.

Connor's health. I know, just KNOW with all my heart that he is going to be just fine. They will unblock his little heart and his Momma will get to hold him and love him and squeeze him and begin his journey to physiotherapy in health, safety and joy. I have faith enough for us all.

being a superhero. I love my job.

my warm bed on a cold night. If you add my mans snoring, you have sleepy time bliss.

the visual of Calvin yakking up a pair of Kelly's underpants on her bedroom floor. I'm sorry but that's funny right there. I don't care who you are. *snorts* I'm still giggling and it got the hamster out of trouble. The rule in my house is if you can get mom to laugh, it's a "get out of jail free" card. It works for hamsters too.

my yellow sharpie. I have not had it on my list for a while but it's never far from reach. With it I color the freaks happy, I coat my cape with Teflon, I turn housebreaking a new puppy into the Adventures of Roy the Alien Hamster, it turns mean ol’ cages into Alien Transport Devices, it makes snores into lullabies, it finds the beauty in grey skies, it makes inanimate objects into pets and so much more. My yellow sharpie is the magic infused in my life and I'm forever grateful for the gift of imagination that allowed me to find it.

my family & friends. They are the ink that fuels the yellow sharpie.

my man. Just cuz I wanna.

Who else do you know that gets to watch Pixies at Play?
My life rocks.


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