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Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day 226 - The Last Hurrah

This is it. The curtain is closing on the D.C. trip for 2010. A full year will roll by before we get to return. Next year Jax will be walking and talking, June will be in High School, Lisa will be nearly 30 *groans* and I will be a year closer to 50. But things will also be the same. Lisa will be my baby with babies & she will still fight me for blueberry pie. My mom will still yell "ED!" in that very special tone of voice and she will still hug my neck, sigh deeply and say "I love you Beth Ann" It's the ebb and flow of life and for some reason I'm feeling it more keenly than ever before.

Today was the last hurrah of a sometimes brilliant, sometimes gruesome week of family time. It had it's highs and lows with damn few inbetweens. Today though? It was brilliant. Even with a fussy & teething baby. My happy place was particularly happy and thanks to a laptop and a loaner camera named Wilbur I barely noticed the absence of the cigarettes that used to keep me on that porch. Instead, I stalked illusive yellow finches & blue humming birds, failing to capture them digitally, though successfully in memory. I sat and read "The Shack" while the surprisingly cool August breeze, absent of it's usual humidity tried to turn my pages. I fed my newest grandson to the shutterbug along with all the pretty flowers, moths, bees and sparrows I could find. The hamster barked at Satan while Satan laughed at his puny attempt at dominance, then chased him across the yard showing him just who was in charge. Mom struggled with her demons and won the battle for today though the war is far from over. And the day ended with a spectacular meal, coin tosses and free hugs with kisses.

Yesterday was a vile day but if it's survival is what created today, I'll do it again. Now I am packed and I've put myself to bed early. The hamster is at my feet unaware that he will be stuffed into the car yet again. Tomorrow night I'll be sleeping next to my snoring prince happily ensconced back in my peaceful, messy, and wonderful slice of paradise. I must once again face Key Mountain and I know another file cabinet has thrown up on my desk but I don't care. Home is where my heart is, it's where my man waits for me, it's where the freaks of Jacksonville Proper await the return of their Maintenance Superhero. Less than 18 hours and I'll be exactly where I long to be. Home Lord willing.

Today I am grateful for today, grateful for home, grateful for returning.

Peace ~
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