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Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 120 - Wishes, Dreams and Expectations

“The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.” ~Eli Khamarov~


Today I'm grateful for:

releasing my expectations. Life "owes" me nothing. Everything is a gift.

the realization that he owes me nothing in return and that I owe everything to Him.

realizing that I'm not too old for dreams. I still have time to grow up.

his desire to fulfill my dreams. There is a reason he's my favorite human.

the interesting way the universe works. When I stopped expecting he started meeting my expectations. Guess I should'a known God had an advanced sense of the ironic.

FRIDAY!

no piles on Wilson.

my favorite human volunteering to spend a weekend with strangers in order to fulfill one of my wishes.

confirmation that wishes do come true. Specially where Princes are involved. Way cool dude.

packing at the last minute. That last minute scramble to dash out the door always starts the Road Trip with a bang. This time I plan on forgoing the frustration and just be grateful for it. Aftre all, this time it's ME that has failed to pre-pack.

meeting new cousins. This will be my first timing meeting Jimmy's wife and daughter. I'm so excited!

whispers to Daddy. "Say hello to Pastor Ken for me Daddy. I miss you, I'll see you soon enough"

going with the flow. I just refuse to worry about all I have to do when I return, the Pixie's 13th next week or the looming anniversary of grief. Right now, in this moment, I am sucking fumes in my happy bubble and content to be so.

favorite humans. I recommend everyone have one.

Are we not just nauseatingly cute?
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Recently I listened to a podcast called "The iMarriage" and this is what came to mind during my night sweat/insomnia induced obsessathon. The speaker was talking about Wishes, Dreams and Expectations and their effects on the marriage. He discussed how, while dating and planning the wedding, we all have dreams about the future and about how our lives would be. Then, sometime during the marriage ceremony or the reception, or the honeymoon, these dreams turn into expectations.

Dreams are awesome and wonderful. They are unfulfilled wishes and plans that have a place in marriage. Dreams are something to strive for and when dream is fulfilled, it's wonderful and special and gratitude abounds.

Expectations however, are like marriage debt. That when an unfulfilled dream turns into an expectation, you start your marriage off in the hole. It becomes a sore spot "Why have you not...?" "Why can't you...?" "When will you...?" and your partner has to jump through extraordinary hoops just to break even. When an expectation is fulfilled, there is no fanfare, no gratitude, no thank yous. After all, you're just doing what your SUPOSED to do. I begain to sweat more and a thought popped in my head. "Oh crap, he's right."

Lying awake last night listening to my prince snore I whispered to him in the dark. "You OWE me nothing. I love you for free" and I was rewarded with this quiet stillness that came over me and I drifted off to sleep. I rarely dream but last night my dreams were full of princes and wishes fulfilled.


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