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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 77 - Ire

“Don't hold to ire, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”
~Unknown~
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Today I'm grateful for:

email. It's unbelievably satisfying to type up an email, pour all my ire into it, obsess over its content, then hit send. Watching the little hourglass twirl I know I've done all I can and it's now time to let it go. Now it's in the hands of the Universe.

recognizing the symptoms, locating the root and purging the ire. I've realized I've been PISSED OFF for days now. It kinda snuck up on me but yesterday, when a stranger had to keep me from punching a cop, I was slapped in the face with it. Time to work on letting it go. I've seen what anger can do when allowed to take root and fester. That's so not going to happen again. *grabs a jumbo bottle of root killer*

being grateful for a budding relationship. I'm glad she is calling him instead of me. I will release my petty jealousy and insecurity and break out my daughter to English dictionary. It says "Calling Daddy first" means "I can call my Dad first" and NOT "Mom sucks so let’s avoid her"

the queens life seeming to be less "Queenlike". If this keeps up I may have to come up with a new nick-name for her.

getting it. I see what's what and I know who's who now. What I need to find out is; am I ready to step up to the plate and just do it?                                  ~

Wendy's chili & Jr. Fries. They are very nom nom nomable, and still less calories than my 620 calorie peanut butter & soup lunch. The trick is, can I keep any more food out of my mouth till dinner? I think eating lunch at 11AM may have been a bad idea.

having a job. While my superhero duties may become tedious at times and some freaks have a knack for raising my ire, I am grateful beyond measure for a job. I am more grateful for the man's job and the man for loving his family enough to put up with what's going on. My husband is Superman. I'm just Wondergirl.

the promise of spring. Trees are getting pinker, the Mustang is getting greener. Time for Sally's spring wash & hand wax. Wonder if the car wash guy will laugh at my "Wax on Wax off" reference this year?

hope. I have hope the Navy will step up where the Air Force failed to go. *crosses fingers, toes, eyes, braids hair*

This is my granddaughter.
That look says what I'm thinking
She is as awesome as she appears.
Dispite her mothers claims to the contrary
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I've come to the conclusion that I'm just a mean mean person and I will have to battle my natural tendencies all my life. Or, I could just be in another pissed off mood and I'll get over it in a few days *shrugs* either way, I need to yet again, pull my head out of my rear and cling to my gratitude. I have a HUGE number of blessings to be thankful for. I look around me and I see all the suffering, sadness and panic and I feel petty and foolish for being grumpy and pissed off. I hear myself saying "Let it go Beth" and I hit my knees and pray "Lord help me to be the humble and graceful servant you wish me to be"

I'm working on it. To give myself some credit, at least I'm aware of it and I'm no longer letting it take root. That's something right? I think I'm going to pack up all the sporks. That bit just feeds my aggression and makes me look bitter and angry. From this point forward, my weapon of choice will be a fluffy, hot pink pillow. Yeah, like this one. Perhaps one day, I'll be weaponless. For now....baby steps.

THIS looks freaking awesome

1 comment:

  1. I'm with ya. I am desperately needing to let go of some ire. I just want to go with the flow a little more.
    I also get you on not taking things personally...like when you mentioned she called Daddy first. You're awesome, Beth.

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