Dear Diary

Dear Diary:

I've missed you! It's been over a year since I've written to you. My new love "the list" has taken over where you left off. While my list is an essential part of my life, it cannot take your place. You reflect, validate and spotlight my life. Not to long ago I took the time to read old entries and was amazed to discover I had met all the goals I set for myself that first day. Wow, I mean really, WOW! I remember writing those goal and thinking I was over reaching. I mean come on, me? Write a book? Quit smoking? No freakin way. Yet, here I am, nearly 2 years later with pretty red lines through all of them.

Well, I now have a new list of goals even more out there then the first set. I mean, why not? I also have a new philosophy, a new attitude, a new religion and a new purpose. I started out with baby steps and I'm now walking like a big girl. Life is better than it's ever been so I figured it was about time I rekindle our relationship. I spent so long writing to you about all the bad stuff, it's about time I start to document the good right? So, each Friday I will come tell you all about my week. The successes, the failures, the joy and sorrow. Perhaps now that I'm growing up, we can have a more balance relationship.

This week I started my diet and exercise routine. I weighed in Monday morning at 195.2. This morning I weighed in at 192.2. I lost exactly 3 lbs in 5 days. Not bad for working out at home all on my own. I got up at 5:45 A.M every morning and got on the stationary beast. I rode for 20 minutes doing 4 sets of 45 second intervals and I did a 10-15 minute palates work out each night. I ate every 2 hours. I premeasured chicken and salmon in steamer bags and ate those, 1 c of jasmine rice and 200 lbs of steamed veggies for 4 nights. Last night I had steamed chicken in a salad. My "goodie" was my new passion. Chocolate drizzled mini-rice cakes. OMG! 90 calories of premeasured heaven in a bag. Just the perfect amount of crunch and sweetness. That with a cup of coffee was the perfect way to end my day of eating. I cheated on Wednesday afternoon only. The boss brought Pizza and I just felt I could not say no. 2.5 slices vs. the normal 6 and Veggie not the normal greasy pepperoni. I drank 3 diet sodas all week. I also drank enough water to drain the St. Johns river.

Over all, it was a very successful week and I'm happy. I see a thin me in my head. She's there just waiting for me to catch up. She's there, solidly formed and she fills me with faith that I'm going to do it. After 39 years of weight and self image issues I'm going to do it. Like the perky email said, I am no longer going to concentrate on the NOT and I will now LIVE the AM. I am happy, I am grateful, I am thin. I just need to catch up to the thin. I will get there, one big girl step at a time. Next step? A 7 day raw detox. I'm gonna do great.

Till next week

Sincerely,

Skinny Granny