Sunday, June 7, 2020

Day 11 - Remember When I said...

Today is a new day. Thank you Lord. Yesterday was a mess. Reality came crashing down. Remember when I say MeAgain Photography was going to reopen it's doors? Well scratch that. I bought my domain name $32. I paid for a years worth of web hosting $58. I paid for a photography lighting umbrella $39.99 which I just returned. All the spiffy equipment I put in my Amazon cart has been moved to the save for later list. 

Take a look at these photos. They are OK for an armature. They are not even close to professional level. All the skill I had has evaporated. I do have faith that it's still in there but I need time to work things out. I have a lot of improving to do before I can charge for my work. And the website? I spent the entire day yesterday trying to so one simple thing. Log in. I couldn't figure out how to log into the front door of the website. I can get into the c-panel but that is so overwhelmingly intimidating I froze. I once built an amazing website I was proud of from scratch. Now I can't remember even the simplest things. 

I will get the website up. After all, I paid for it. But it will simply be the home for my gratitude and my travels to a new life with new goals. I will take pictures. I will be grateful but I will let it go at that. 

I also came face to face with some realities even closer to home. I need to clean my house (figuratively speaking) and I can't procrastinate. If your out there and your a praying sort, I ask you to pray for me. I need to hear God's voice and I need the words to make it OK. 


Today I'm grateful for:

God. He's moving my life forward whether or not I like it. I just hope I can keep up. 

slowing down. I'm moving way to fast. It's just like taking a photo. When you rush you get crap. When you take a breath before you take the shot it's much clearer. 

prayers. I need them right now. Desperately. 

cooler weather. It's cool and grey today. It's nice. It matches my mood. 

going to church. I'd like to make it a habit. 

being loved. There is no one on this earth that loves me better than my girls. And boy do they love me. How the hell did I get so lucky?

having a roof over my head. I don't know how long it's going to last but for now, it's a pretty awesome roof. 

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Day 10 - I have a Headache

I have a domain. I have a domain host. I have a control panel. I cannot log into my own website to make any changes or updates. My website is an empty shell. Why? Because I cannot remember what I used to be able to remember. I built the original website from scratch. NO help. Today? Nothing. I have a headache because I spent the day beating my head against the wall. I'm done for today. I'll try again Monday when customer service is available. 

~Looking for Peace

Today I'm grateful for:

God. He gave me a clear answer. If he wanted me to try this again, He'd have given me my brain back. My pictures are mostly crap and I can't log into my own website. I think I'll stop here. At least I didn't waste too much money. 

fans. It's hot as hell in here but at least the fan is moving the air. 

not having to make dinner. We're eating leftovers. 

cooler days ahead. If the weather lady is lying I'm going to introduce her to Ms. Shankabitch. 

a pause button. I'm REALLY pissed off. This God given internal pause button is a gift from God. 

Friday, June 5, 2020

Day 9 - Here We Go Again

I dare you

Well, I never thought it would happen. Seriously, less than a week ago I KNEW there would never be another chance but here we are. MeAgain Photography has once again opened it's doors. I have a LOT to do and even more to relearn. I am not ready. My skills are rusty but our doors open July 4th 2020. We shall see what the world of professional photography looks like in this Covid 19 world. 

This blog will move to my website once it is up and running. In the meantime, the list must go on. 


Today I'm grateful for:

God. How the heck did I end up here? Do I belong here? What is your plan Lord? Thank you for giving me another chance. 

getting my first job. Joe has hired me to take photos of all of his tools for his insurance. I charged him $.01 just so I can call myself a professional. 

shrimp and pasta for dinner.

Kelly and Kim fining a roommate. *crosses fingers, says a prayer" I'm going to be grateful for it even thought it hasn't happened yet. Pour it out into the universe and see what happens. 

wedding gifts. I am plotting and hatching. My goal is to make Kelly and Kim cry *evil grin*

Joe. He's giving me the emotional support to try this again. 

shooting a wedding. It's my first wedding shoot in 5 years. It's my cousins wedding. I'm doing it for free. There will be 10 people in attendance. But it's a wedding!